Things Every Child Should Know

Pleasure and pain.


This post made me think about my glorious youth and a couple things that I loved in my youth and the fact that young cats don't know about, either sucks or makes a good joke for me.


1) School House Rock - Refer to the link above...it speaks of my pain.

2)Dukes of Hazzard - This show helped me realize a few things: classic cars kick ass, the cops suck and I never wanted to use my car doors. The bad thing is when I grew up and found out what the hell the flag on top of the car meant in addition to who "General Lee" was. Dammit Luke and Bo, how could you - they probably took the it's part of our history line. The other thing I'm conflicted about that came from this show is Daisy Dukes. Liked them at first but the more I see young girls with them on (especially getting closer to an age when having a daughter is more possible)....brrrrrrr.

3) Dungeons and Dragons - It's not just a game that nerds play with 20 sided dice. It was one of my favorite cartoons. My only problem was...how come none of them had a sword. Eric was a punk so I didn't care that he just had a shield and Diana was a an amazon goddess.

4) This post covers alot of good toys but I have to Mention G.I. Joe. I don't know how many people were really down but let me say this; I sent away for the Willam "Refrigerator" Perry G.I. Joe action figure. He had a mace and the striking end looked like a football. I had SGT. Slaughter, but when I stopped watching wrestling he didn't mean much anymore. Plus now that the Fridge is losing various "eating" contests I wish I still had this reminder.

5) Kids Incorporated - This joint seems corny as hell now but one of it's members gives me a good story. Some of you may have heard Eminem's song " Toy Soldiers", well the hook that he sampled was a single from the original oldest girl on (Markita) from Kids Inc. I hear dudes rocking that song and I bust out laughing cause all I can think of is: K-I-D-S, YES! On another note the black kid who you may know as Rahsaan Patterson was the first person I ever saw who had my first name.

6)Beat Street - This is manditory for every child born after the conception of Hip-Hop. I get into with the young people at my job cause they all listen to what passes for Hip-Hop and don't know who Kool Herc is. I told them if Hip-Hop was the Mafia we would all be paying Kool Herc a tributary. To quote Blackthought, "Emcees still ain't showed loyalty yet, Kool Herc ain't never get a royalty check."

7)The World Class Wrecking Crew - If you don't remember them or them being brought up when dudes was beefing with Dr. Dre for previously wearing the full body sequin suit; you'll just have to google the name. This collective experience taught me something about music and marketing and to not put alot of faith into someone's image.

8)Scooby Doo - not this new crap but the old joints. Everything I needed to know I learned from Scooby Doo: Drugs (them scooby snacks ain't just cookies!), Gays (We could tell about Velma, but Fred and the Neckerchief - c'mon). Punks (Scrappy seemed tough but when they didn't snatch him up he would break out too, the little ones always got the most mouth). The Final lesson - an old white man is probably behind it all.

9)Atari - I'm on these boards where there is a mixture of adults and teenagers talking about video games. The young cats always bitch, moan and complain. They need to go back and play some Atari. The graphics we used to think were the joint would be laughed at but despite that we loved it. Appreciate what you have! They also need to go back and play that E.T. game...then they wouldn't bitch about how so many games suck now. From E.T. running around to picking up hookers and pulling drive-bys in GTA oh the times they are a changing.

10) My final one everyone may not feel: Mr. Rogers. I dug his show but on top of that he was pimped out! Think about his voice and that laid back demeanor...can't you picture him pulling up the ladies, "Hey baby would you like to be my neighbor?" Plus dude kept his gear up, like all of you at one time had a pair of kicks you would take off and wash with a toothbrush. Well Mr. Rogers would come in take of the jacket and shoes, throw on his sweater and his house kicks. Some people liked Capt. Kangaroo, some did Sesame Street; Mr. Rogers was my man.