WTF????

I have recently been on the verge of kirking out. There is this poet named Olu and for some reason everyone associates me with her. My main man does it to irk me but more and more I find people saying things like, "Your friend Olu", or "You know, Olu, Your girl". Perhaps because we both have locks that are jive long. I have no clue, but it is pissing me off. For those who missed, according to my new rules I probably have 4 or 5 "friends" (replace with fam), 20 "associates" ( replace with friends), and 240 "acquaintances" (good as it is). I really don't need the perception of closeness with someone when it's not there. Baltimore is too small for such things to be in the air. This topic made me think about some "associations" from the past.

Swad and the Muslim Girl - I forgot this girls name and I don't feel bad about it cause we hung with a bunch of people back then. Anyway everyone would either sleep over someones apartment or Swad's house. So this group of muslim girls started hanging with us and it was clear one of them had an interest in Swad. Soooo...one day when someone is pissed the present Swad with the fact that they know he slept with "muslim girl" cause she told him. He denies. Now I know most of you are like yea right. I know Swad and I know he didn't sleep with her because:

1. The brother is picky.
   
2. I know his crud (things worse than that) and he denied this to me.
   
3. Girls were always on him and doing dumb shit like this.
   

The hilarious thing is a little bit after this I got up on Dave Chapelle talking about dudes trying to make other dudes believe they didn't sleep with a particular girl. "Motherfucker I'll kill you - PLEASE believe me, Please believe me." The hardest charge to beat.

Kwofi (Frontor) and every girl he ever came in contact with - This involves me because despite how much I can talk, I know alot of boisterous people and I tend to fade in the backround which I like. I say this to say; people will forget me if they meet me amongst my friends unless I do something to stand out. Anyway, I'm at this club a little while back (got in free, Thanks Goldie!) Me, Swad and Warren are chilling at the bar (we didn't pay to get in so that means more drinks!) There weren't many sisters there so I took interest in the ones that came in. One of Kwofi's old girls/girl he dated (I don't know) comes in and I'm tipsy so I start spitting at her (in a subtle manner of course). Swad takes interest and starts prompting me with shit like " Ask what her tattoo means, tell her to show you the WHOLE thing." Anyway it becomes obvious that it can be on. Until one word Pops into my head: Kwofi. Thanks alot Kwofi, your general weirdness and ability to fool women into thinking that you are normal is ruining the dating pool.

Me and random cats - For some reason 500 people know me and I don't know any of them. About 20 times I have been talking to someone and they mention someone offhanded like, "You know so and so." I say no I don't and they begin describing this person only to have me say, "nope, don't know em". For some reason this person knows my name and where I hang and used my name for something, while I remain oblivious to their presence. Which leads me to...

R.O.P and a million Emcees - Rites of Passage (R.O.P.) was my group. We rhymed and had a core of 5 members but up to 20. People dug us so they always tried to claim association. It has been so bad that I've been talking to an emcee and they say, "Yeah, I'm part of R.O.P." The fact that I have never seen them amusing me I proceed to further entertain my self. "So you know Kev, Trey, [yup] Keymah, Swad [yeah] and Rahsaan (Rahsaan = me). " Yeah Rahsaan's my man. My response is next time you see him tell him I said what's up. "Okay". Dummy.

Wendell and Female Clients - It has happened to me but for some reason my co-worker has a larger amount of young women/girls at our job who want to get in his pantalones. I actually had to tell a young lady to leave him alone one day. My exact words were "You're making this a hostile work environment." There are girls that he has said not to register because they were trying to holler at him somewhere. His first response is usually "Oh no." Wendell is hiliarious. The look on his face when some girls busts out with "Damn, I'm waiting for Wendell to stop fronting and give me some" is priceless.