Girlfriend #3

This was an interesting one...that still haunts me. Teri or (Therence - she might hate that I put that but...it's my frickin' blog.) was a light-skinned buxom Liberian girl. The weird thing about this, especially now that I read it here, is that she used to mess around with my friend. The same friend who is the brother of the ex- before this. She is how it sunk in to not date people who have dated your friends. Teri was..interesting. she was very artistic, good-looking, curved in good places, and she was not from this country...plus she spoke liberian-english and french. She was older than me and while not the first she had the biggest age difference at the time. We were close for a while. It's people like her that make me think about how you can be so close to someone one day and not really know them later. Anyway...I lived what I call my semi-married life with her. Point of fact her best friend that she grew up with (also from liberia) was married to a friend of mine. What's hilarious is the four of us used to get up and he and I would always fall asleep! Maybe our bodies were coordinating efforts to warn us. The skinny - Teri was cool, I picked up alot of liberian dishes from her (Men who cook! Learn the best dish from that women you date/know make...good way to build a repotoir) I met many folks, went to alot of parties, and had a good time...being the youngest person in the room. Now, sexually...Teri did not have the best drive I have experienced. She did feed the ego though. She was the only girl I have been with who would be ready to go to sleep while I was still "primed" it kinda sucked. I wondered if this is what women feel like. "One shot and your out? I still had something to prove." Biggest ego boost was that I brought her to tears once. I am kinda bragging but at the time it took me a minute to realize it WAS something I could brag about. At the time I was thinking..."what, are you instantly pregnant?". The hang up in this situation was...her. I want to say that she was a cancer and leave the blame there but,...here's an example. We both have something to drink before falling asleep. I sit my glass up and out of the way. She puts hers on the floor on my side of the bed (futon really). I wake up (big feet and clumsiness) and kick the glass breaking it. After 10 times she gets pissed and says, "You need to realize there will be a glass there and be careful." I say, " I wake up at three in the morning to go to work, I am clumsy, I do have big feet, let's put glasses in a safer place." She says, " No you need to get used to it." That type of thing doesn't fly well with me. On top of that she was kind of clingy, and she still had one of those "we-used-to-be-together-now-we're-just-close ex-boyfriends. I don't like that. Especially when she let's me know that he talked shit about me and doesn't want me to confront him. Ladies if your ex is talking about your current, either don't tell him or don't stop him from addressing the situation. I remember she wanted to go to California with him for a week and I basically felt like...HELL NO. If you want to get together do it, after I'm gone. Call it what you want, but I'll never say, "oh honey my ex just wants me to chill with her across the country and sunny beaches, what's the problem?" I already know what it is. Another technique for the fellas...when Teri and I would argue about something, I would listen to hear her voice begin to rise and I would simultaneously lower the tone of my voice. I'd say things like, "Well I'm sure we can discuss this without all the yelling, it's a simple disagreement, sweetie." She'd get more pissed, we'd part company, and by the next day maturity set in and she would admit her...childishness (she did NOT use that word). Now this is where it get's fucked up. We were having problems and not getting along right before X-mas. We even had the "What do YOU want to do" talk. I escort her to buy gifts for her family before she heads off to N.Y. I even buy her lil' brother a cool ass video game that she knew nothing about, and of course he ended up loving it. While she is gone I really contemplate the situation. What will I do? Is it worth it? Then I make up my mind that for whatever reason we are together. At least I can exert all my strength to make it work. She returns for new years for which we plan. I rent a VCR and some movies (she didn't have one and this is before, everything was on DVD.) I buy champange she gets ingredients for this spicy liberian chicken dish. I mean we spent some money collectively to make it a good new years and it was. The mix of food, booze and a camera did us pretty well. The next day we get up eat and I run out to grab something from a friend of mine, we induldge...afterwhich she promptly breaks up with me! My whole mind state was - wuhdafuck - weren't we going at it like untamed beasts last night. Didn't I just make up my mind to work it out. HOW THE HELL DID SHE SLIP THAT IN THERE! So we part, exchange things she requests the pictures we took the night before (should have thought about that!) which I had forgotten about, what with being dumped and all. The problem was she kept pushing the issue, like I was going to have a party at which I would display 8x10 copies. Because of her attitude about it - I made doubles just so I could keep some. Which I will say no one has ever seen...cause I'm just not like that. But spite makes me leave options open. The worst thing about this whole period was that she would call me or email me and say, "we don't talk anymore, you never call me." Cause you broke up with me!!!! What type of desperate loser was it that you mistaked me for?!?! Revisit my ex-rule above.

Today

Teri had a child with some guy not too long after we broke up. Long enough to be reasonable but short enough to make me wonder sometimes - and enough for my friends to joke me about guess who someone's baby resembles? Last I saw Teri she was getting kind of big. I don't mean status wise. She always did complain about her weight, but when I suggested running with me she had a "bad knee" that prevented it. I never saw anything improve from lack of use. There are still jokes that I'm a father and I don't know it. The good thing is...the recipe for rice bread I got from her is a real crowd pleaser in my hands.