Hand Holding

"One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor"

So as you may or may not know I think the majority of Americans are pussified, lazy people who can't rely on themselves. Not to mention that we want to do as we please and be free of all consequences. Some of these things are shown in simple ways while others cover important areas of our lives. I already chronicled my disdain for Viagra and the other "get right" pills on the market, however, these are just a drop in the bucket.


Yes the ultimate cop-out pill my friends...Chaser. This little dandy will allow you to drink like every day is a night in Vegas without worrying about the residual effects in the morning. I'd like to thank the makers of this product for sparing drunk assholes everywhere their God given punishment for living it up the night before. I may not be the average person, but not only have I never had hangover...I don't drink like I'm trying to get one. I mean when you need one of these I don't think most people are thinking about having a few cocktails. This is "who's dick is this?" type of drinking. I don't want to even start thinking about people running around with this, some x and a couple viagras. I may never be able to go to a club again. Every night will be like an episode of the "Real World". Things are meant to have consequences. I hate fat free things cause, hell, you shouldn't be stuffing your mug with a whole bunch or garbage in the first place. I hate Chaser with a passion cause we need balance, I don't want that stupid drunk from last night walking around the next day like nothing happened. Hangovers are the type of things that make people say, "Damn, I need to slow down." What am I left with, will I have to take a Video Camera around documenting the stupidity of their previous nights actions as the only consequence. I forgot, drinking is already a crutch for acting stupid. They say that fear checks the angry spirit or in other words knowing there are consequences makes us consider our actions. Well what happens when we wipe away consequences? I figure that even if you don't drink like you just lost your job, house, wife and got beat down by your children...having a hangover is your body telling you something ain't right. I had a bartender explain to me that your better off drinking straight booze than any drink that has sugar in it. I know for a fact that if you're at the bar that person that keeps ordering sweet drinks is most likely to dumb-out before the night is over. When you put straight booze to your mouth the smell of it will hit your stomach and let you know you need to chill. At this point I don't know what will be the next consequence taken away, but I'm already afraid to hear about it. Since I'm usually optimistic I'll look at it this way: there wil be alot of drunk people telling me they love me and I can probably put my drinks on their tab, plus in the morning they won't feel like crap so they probably won't be as pissed about it.