Selling on Out
"George Bush Loves Black People!"
Hopefully my readers won't hate me and Humanity Critic won't throat chop me...I'm doing it for the money! I have a plan to get rich and famous. I'm going to become Bush's black friend. I'll go to meetings, dinners and things with him. I'll be seen with an arm around him and my hand on Condi's ass. I'll denounce Kanye West (while secretly hiding his C.D.) for his outburst. Just being his friend means I'm sure to get some high ranking position that I'm not qualified for and all types of inside investment tips and things. The downside is, I'll lose all of my friends, my current readers and I won't be able to show up anywhere that I think is cool to be. White republicans will probably buy me drinks, though. I won't be able to go to any more concerts of artists I like. I'll get all the Toby Keith tickets I can stand (which is one, but I digress). Just think about the possibilities, I'll find out all types of secrets and good stuff. If someone tries to discredit me and dig up something from my past, they'll find some arrests, non-profit work, and an HBCU. I'm the perfect spokesman. I'm the type of black person they said to dislike. I'll go on the talk show circut and become more loved by mainstream america than Wayne Brady.
That being said I can only do so much before my true colors shine through. So, after I stack a nice bankroll, I'll quit and repent. I'll go on talkshows again and say that it was all a lie, Condi said she wanted to scream my name and then Bush pulled me in! They offered me money! All of my friends will come back saying they knew it couldn't have been true. I'll give an exclusive to H.C. talking about how Bush violated his guide to having black friends. I'll knock off every famous beautiful woman who hates Bush. I'll tell Larry King that he laughed and said "Fuck the National Guard!" before regailing me with tales of his A.W.O.L. activities. So, to all of you out there try not to hate me too much, I'm doing it for the money and the chance to show him up later on. B.T.W. I'll be going by R.J. during this period.
posted by Amadeo at 4:31 PM
10 Comments:
That's funny, but black ppl are usually very forgiving (they won't forget, but forgiving)...so I think most will let you back in.
sidenote: SAG (that's great!)
I think this is a great idea! You know I already got flayed alive for NOT being angry because I am black.
Just let me know if I can be your Condi Rice...
Dude, I wouldn't throat-chop you, primarily because you are nice with the hand skills and I don't want you to blog about "Kicking HumanityCritic's ass". Also, I would know that it was an act the whole time, infultrating that evil administration, and trying to negotiate a "mouth hug" from the Bush twins..lol Do your thing!
My sister Nikki pretty much summed up my mentality brother Amadeo. As a member of B.H.A.I.L., I see it like this. We get into the black ski masks, meet at the rendezvous point, divvy up the money and we call it even. This one time, we give a brotha a pass. How that sound? Holla
shoot, if you don't tell i won't. just remember to bless a sista when you come back to this side...
for 50 bucks and a bucket of popeyes I'll defend ya to the fullest lol
You'll make millions, I can be you're "Conda-sleasa Rice" Lol.
Do you know any plastic surgeons.... (surely I would not be doing this with this pretty face...lol).
Good one!
Frankly, I don't know what I'm digging more - the fact that you came up with this masterful plan...or the fact that Eye said, "scrilla." Man, I love that word. Always have...
e'rybody got a price...i say do it.
talk about comic relief.
you got me sittin' here, crackin' up. thanks for the laugh.
i'm interested in the insider investment tips!!! LMAOOO
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