More Helpful Hints for Dudes Who Suck
"The Art of Easing"
Having already produced three other entries in this series I was inspired by MidLife Crisis to forge on in my journey to improve the quality of dudes for the ladies. Plus, watching you fumble around makes my beer taste bad.
Nosce te ipsum - Know Thyself - To quote a friend of mine, "he can't beat me at being me". Simply explained - don't try to out do other people in an effort to win attention, that's like placing a bet against the mob...the fight is already fixed. Do you. Whatever that is. True, not all the ladies will be interested, but such is life. By trying to out perform someone in their own arena you serve to set yourself up to look stupid.
You Must Learn - Nothing comes across better than knowing. The name of the person who said that quote. What type of wine goes with this meal. Who performed the original version of that song. That shirt is a cotten/linen blend right? Whatever it is knowing is helpful. Knowing what to do about that car trouble she is having. Knowing where she can get that information from. Most importantly, know that you don't know. Nothing is worse than someone stretching beyond what they know. Once again you're setting yourself up to look stupid. The wise man knows he knows nothing at all. Roll with your strengths.
Down the Rabbit Hole - So many dudes try to create a false experience. Knowing that women like to hear shit. I love you. I've never felt this way before. Blah, Blah, Blah. Avoid this bullshit in the end it brings you nothing but drama. Of course we must recall a guiding principle...women talk to each other. Not all of them, but more than we do. Someone will see through your non-experience and realize that all you are is a dick and talk. Some won't care, quality ones will.
Omitting and Lying - A true man does not have to lie. O.K. unless your girl is a police detective and you are planning a surprise party then maybe. In that instance though she's even harder to lie to. Make things known. If this is how you roll make it known. Firstly lying is hard to keep up with anyway. Second of all most people lie from fear. Don't be a pussy. Say what you feel. She either has to take it or leave it. After being tossed around the majority of the ladies will appreciate knowing where they stand. It's one thing to not mention something, however, an angry lady will not respect the subtle distinction. I find the take it or leave it attitude works best.
Know your level - If you prefer chicken wings to an actual meal than ignore all of this. Know the level of woman you are seeking out. Just because your woman of choice is not sitting on some steps in the middle of the hood doesn't mean she is not the main ingredient in a Chicken Box. Bell Biv Devoe said it best "Never trust a big butt and a smile". Do some investigation. One of the best methods (unless your target has been reading MidLife's recent posts) is to let them talk. The average person can't stand silence and will reveal intimate details about themselves if you only give them a chance.
Cavet Emptor -Let the buyer beware - Seek out more than ass! Getting ass is easy and can be done. The thing is something always comes along with it. Some type of drama can easily be imported into your life when you casually accept all the ass that you can get. Pick and Choose my friend. Actually try not to shop in the bargin bin at all. I used to tell my clients if you were to get a girl pregnant and would then be upset that SHE, in particular, is pregnant don't sleep with her. Condoms and clean bills of health do not protect you from the wrath of a woman. Much less the wrath of a crazy woman. Yeah she'll be just as passionate when she watches to see where your car is parked with that aluminum bat clenched in her fists...I hope you don't have any pets. I had a co-worker who was a player and could pull the ladies with ease. His choices however caused his car to spend a lot of time in the shop. The only good thing about getting involved like this is that friends like me can laugh at you when you ask me to call you in five minutes and say I need a ride...."who is this?"
posted by Amadeo at 4:30 PM
12 Comments:
great hints. especially the one about being yourself
I really love your blog.
I hate this post. Don't give any guys any more help. Thank you.
that listening trick is a pain in the ass. Guys need to listen but they need to speak at some point. When a guy is too quiet for too long I eventually come to the conclusion that his mind is a vast wasteland and he's not saying anything 'cause he has nothing to say.
jeez, why does this have to be a war?
I'll tell you like I told Mid, the game is to be SOLD, not told! What's wrong wif' ya'll? I had to learn this info through blood, sweat and tears. And ya'll giving it away. Hmph. LOL
Anyway, big-ups. It's great for them to know, but tell them muthafuckas not to know TOO much. Nobody likes a know it all. Well, at least I don't. And I usually proceed to crack his face -- indirectly -- letting him know that he don't KNOW. And that makes for an uncomfortable evening.
For him.
LMAO
I read your initial post and wow, the last point about unfortunate so-and-so's who are winding up in the friend zone. (sigh)
That point really needs revisiting again and again.
For Said Fellas:
"I'm not really trying to be in a relationship right now" and "I see you as just a friend" and any variation of the two phrases means, say it with me now,
"You are simply not fuck-able"
Poor babies.
And NINA, I feel what you're saying but...(Heavy sigh) mofos need help.
Now, that's that shit man! True words of wisdom, that hopefully in this life I will never have to employ. I loved the "You must Learn" segment the most. I was just telling a female friend yesterday, I didn't and have no problem telling a woman I don't know.
She knew about cars, a brotha didn't and I had no problem telling her that. And there are alot of fellas who attempt to make believe they "know" and actually don't. Not good fella. "Know your Level" sheer poetry. Have a great weekend Amadeo!
@ God's Child...My hope is once people learn enough we'll all start to have mature dealings. I consider myself a double agent doing what I can to end the conflict.
@NinaMM...I hear you but these guys make it harder for me!
@MidLife...the sad thing is many dudes in the "friend zone" think they're on the inside track like it's a foot race, "I'm almost there!" What's worse is when the ladies don't want to accept that a particular "friend" likes them. He ain't give you all them rides out of friendship!
playing catch up here... I'll be back to get my full read on... peace
Good post. I especially liked the hint about omitting and lying. Being upfront is always a good policy...hey it's the key to being drama free...at least on the man's end. Sometimes drama is just unavoidable though, especially if dealing with a woman who's crazy to begin with. But I'll save that for another post lol.
I love this. I love it. I love it. On Omitting and Lying...I wanna second on the "lie by omission." That is the most cowardly, bullbleep one of them all. Especially the guys that try to act as if their omission was a noble action for the good of all involved. Nah man...that is a L-I-E.
Don't get me started Amadeo...
Great advice...
particulary You must learn, Down the rabbit hole, Omitting and lying and cavet emptor.
A great addedum to my current post.
I don't understand why guys are so put off by a woman's intellect nor do I understand why some men feel obligated to hand women lines of bullshit rather than just being upfront as to whether they are into them or not.
A man will NOT be feeling a woman, but will STILL string her along, insinuating himself into her life, asking her out on dates and stuff, and then try to make up some bullcrap reason as to why he can't make the date.
Just be up front and honest from jump.
good post.
Now see, we need to put you in a converttable and have you ride around the streets of America yelling this post out through a bullhorn. Maybe you can offer some sort of not-for-credit college class.
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