Girlfriend Retrospective # 4
This brings us to the last. Well the last of actual "girlfriends". Flings and the like are not included. This was Larrisa. Larrisa was very pretty she was mixed (white mother, black father) but because people used to assume she was white she was privy to a lot of negative comments (blacks were in the minority at all the schools she went to) and eventually declared herself black. She was that complexion where you might mistake her for being white but (does this sound bad?) when you look at her you could tell she wasn't. Larrisa saw me at an event for my job (a play some of my clients were in) and got the job coach that comes to my center to give me her number. I called her, we talked and decided to have lunch. I always remember the date (December 13th 2002) because that evening we had a memorial for the first of my clients to pass away (the client I mentioned in Spirits). She was cool, she listened to my ideas and and far out theories. She was older and (as it happens with older women I've met) could identify with alot of my ideas because she had experienced alot of the things I spoke of. We continued talking and would get together now and again, I found out later I pissed her off because of my "cool approach" (see: Tao of Amadeo). Basically I talked to her and we chilled but I never sweated sex or made advances. It was awhile before I even kissed her. Which is a hilarious story in itself. We get up and go to D.C. one night (she lived closer to there than Baltimore. So we have dinner at some Japenese place and shoot to Ozios for drinks (several drinks) and then back to her house. We chill for a while then I get up to leave and finally go ahead and give her a kiss. Now after all the waiting the sexual tension has built up...so I did not end up going home. This is the messed up part...we engage in vigorous "relations" and fall asleep. at like 3:30 in the morning I wake up and promptly hurl right next to the bed (not alot of substance to my meal I think it was some type of noodles, no bread or salt and several drinks the first being warm sake). The really messed up part is I rarely throw up and I always feel it at least 5 minutes in advance. I mean my hair is down my back and if I do throw up I'm already in the bathroom on my knees with hair tied back. She did not bitch, she did make fun of me but to her credit she did not bitch. To top it off she had two cats and I'm allergic so I felt very shitty the next morning. Anyway time goes on things are cool, I'm pumped cause she had a sex drive to match mine. This translates into I never rolled over or made suggestions to be denied. She participated as well. Some of ya'll know what I mean no just laying still as I do all the work. It was sex like we were both fighting to be in control of the situation. That's what I like. Plus the only reservations were ones we shared. I'll mention here that when someone is very "active" with me the sex is just better because that activity translates to interest and that turns me on. Basically if a woman invests her self she will be the biggest benefactor, plus I was never one of those "get mine" and go to sleep guys. It takes an extreme set of circumstances for the average guy to not enjoy sex so for purposes of my ego I always want to know that the woman enjoys...cause hell I know I will. Anyway, we're cool the sex is good, the world is right.
She ends up having to move so her and her mother (they live together - and I don't mean she lives with her mother from what I saw she was the one who paid more and had to keep things together) start looking for homes. She finds a place and her friend, friends boyfriend, me and my friend help her move from the county to the city - more than one trip.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT - on behalf of all people who help others move, pack your shit in the days before. Nothing is worse than people still packing on the day of.
This move sucks because they don't know the city so it's my responsiblity to get us to the house, how you rent a house and don't know how to get there is beyond me. Me, my friend and the boyfriend are all allergic to cats so we're all sneezing and wheezing. They have alot of shit. They have stuff that's sitting in rooms like "I wanted to get that reupholstered". NO. NO. NO. Thanks to us some things did not make it. I would feel bad but when you have to make two trips from D.C. to B-more with a large truck, the physical labor does not feel the same sentiments for that chair you always meant to fix. Soooooo...first off. They paid to much and didn't get enough for the place. I wish (even now) they had asked me to help them look. I guess they were used to D.C. prices and didn't realize the difference in two cities so close. Plus it wasn't a nice neighborhood. It just wasn't a "black" area which didn't make a difference, it was just a hood with mostly white folks and some latinos sprinkled throughout. While black people and white people may have some differences, I find low income neighborhoods have the same issues. The next door neighbor was crazy and almost got his ass whooped, three times that day. We found out he actually had done so much that the neighbors got together and he had two weeks before he had to leave the area. The good thing is the latino cats next door ended up helping and I had to buy them some beer for that, very cool. Move is over time passes. I'm coming to a close and I'm about to expose the pus of her soul, but to be fair here is mine.
1)She was coming over late one night and called to let me know, the bad thing is I was half sleep when she called and before I could get up to unlock the door at least, I fell asleep. I know, I know. I wanted to kick my own ass as soon as I woke up in the morning.
2) I don't think this counts but I'll use it to be fair. At one point in time she had to leave town twice. Both times she made the arrangments and basically let me know 2 days before she was leaving (the exact date) she didn't let me know any travel details involving getting to or from the airport. The second trip she calls me on sunday night at about 10:30 and says hey I'll be at the airport in 3 hours could you come pick me up. I don't, my logic being I have to go to work early, you could have asked me beforehand and don't wait till your almost at the end of the return trip late at night to ask me to drive to the airport to come and get you.
Her Pus:
1) She hated that I would never spend the night at her house. I live alone. She shares a space with her MOTHER. I am allergic to cats. She has TWO. I think that says enough.
2) She accused me of never introducing her to my friends. At my house she met my main man, my not so main man and another friend of mine helped her move (which took all day) when I recall She met more of my friend than I did of hers which I never cared about anyway.
3) She was never on time and then said you never take me anywhere. NO. The problem was I say let's go here. See you at 1:00. At 3:00 she would call and say she's running late (no shit!) causing us to miss whatever the event was.
4) I was to pick her up one day and take her to work. I call and say I'm on the way, 15 minutes later I'm out front and honk the horn. She get's pissed off because...she does not like when people honk the horn. What's the problem? She never told me that. Where I'm from, if you expect someone to come get you and they let you know they're coming, it's cool to honk the horn. If you don't like horn honking you don't bitch when you never mention you hate it. You ask the person to not do this in the future.
The last straw) She is supposed to come to my house one afternoon. Her mother, her and I shared a common...interest. An illegal one. She calls, normal hook up didn't come through can I provide. This is out of my buying rhythm so I have to search and I hate street purchases. I find, I call - she says her mother has had a bad day can I spend the night. I grudgingly agree. I come over and spend the night. The next day is my early day at work. So I have to bring shirt, pants, tie, and dress shoes. During the course of the night I say hey can I get a towel (can't remember why). "Oh, I need to wash I only have the towel I'm using (WHAT THE FUCK!). She never had to bring a towel to my house. No one does. If I invite (or ask/request/beg) you over all you need is clothes and deodorant. I can provide wash rags, towels and unused soap. I even keep a new toothbrush (still in the pack) just in case. How the hell do you invite me over and neglect to mention I need to bring a towel? So I wake up in the morning and wait to take a shower (and air dry). It's uncomfortable waiting for a bathroom especially when one of the people using it is the mother of someone you had sex with last night. So after it clears I go to take a shower and she says, " You can't, we're almost late." WHAT THE FUCK! I break and let her know there is no way in hell I'm stepping out of the house or off the second floor with out taking a shower. She wants to kirk out because there is one set of keys (which was stupid as well). I say look get the keys from your mother I'll drop you off, but whatever happens I'm taking a shower. She's pissed. I no longer care. Cleanliness is good kids. I drop her off at work and we have only spoken maybe three times since then.
Today
I have in my possession a jacket, 3 books, 3 c.d.s and a pair of slippers. She (hopefully still) has 1 book, 1 c.d. and my "going out of state" bag. I have tried to exchange these things but she would never return calls or emails. She eventually says she was being immature, she'll come over that saturday. No such thing happens. This was during 2003. I still have her things cause my stupid conscience will bug me for tossing someones things. I've even seen her cause she works in the building where our tech support people are. And I only cling to hope because one of the C.D.'s was Sweetback. Sade's band featuring, Bahamadia, Maxwell, and Leroy Osbourne (the guy that backs up Sade). I really like that C.D.
One day I'll tell you about her job and how she has since (I suspect) used it to strike at me. Now go rest your eyes cause I know they hurt.
She ends up having to move so her and her mother (they live together - and I don't mean she lives with her mother from what I saw she was the one who paid more and had to keep things together) start looking for homes. She finds a place and her friend, friends boyfriend, me and my friend help her move from the county to the city - more than one trip.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT - on behalf of all people who help others move, pack your shit in the days before. Nothing is worse than people still packing on the day of.
This move sucks because they don't know the city so it's my responsiblity to get us to the house, how you rent a house and don't know how to get there is beyond me. Me, my friend and the boyfriend are all allergic to cats so we're all sneezing and wheezing. They have alot of shit. They have stuff that's sitting in rooms like "I wanted to get that reupholstered". NO. NO. NO. Thanks to us some things did not make it. I would feel bad but when you have to make two trips from D.C. to B-more with a large truck, the physical labor does not feel the same sentiments for that chair you always meant to fix. Soooooo...first off. They paid to much and didn't get enough for the place. I wish (even now) they had asked me to help them look. I guess they were used to D.C. prices and didn't realize the difference in two cities so close. Plus it wasn't a nice neighborhood. It just wasn't a "black" area which didn't make a difference, it was just a hood with mostly white folks and some latinos sprinkled throughout. While black people and white people may have some differences, I find low income neighborhoods have the same issues. The next door neighbor was crazy and almost got his ass whooped, three times that day. We found out he actually had done so much that the neighbors got together and he had two weeks before he had to leave the area. The good thing is the latino cats next door ended up helping and I had to buy them some beer for that, very cool. Move is over time passes. I'm coming to a close and I'm about to expose the pus of her soul, but to be fair here is mine.
1)She was coming over late one night and called to let me know, the bad thing is I was half sleep when she called and before I could get up to unlock the door at least, I fell asleep. I know, I know. I wanted to kick my own ass as soon as I woke up in the morning.
2) I don't think this counts but I'll use it to be fair. At one point in time she had to leave town twice. Both times she made the arrangments and basically let me know 2 days before she was leaving (the exact date) she didn't let me know any travel details involving getting to or from the airport. The second trip she calls me on sunday night at about 10:30 and says hey I'll be at the airport in 3 hours could you come pick me up. I don't, my logic being I have to go to work early, you could have asked me beforehand and don't wait till your almost at the end of the return trip late at night to ask me to drive to the airport to come and get you.
Her Pus:
1) She hated that I would never spend the night at her house. I live alone. She shares a space with her MOTHER. I am allergic to cats. She has TWO. I think that says enough.
2) She accused me of never introducing her to my friends. At my house she met my main man, my not so main man and another friend of mine helped her move (which took all day) when I recall She met more of my friend than I did of hers which I never cared about anyway.
3) She was never on time and then said you never take me anywhere. NO. The problem was I say let's go here. See you at 1:00. At 3:00 she would call and say she's running late (no shit!) causing us to miss whatever the event was.
4) I was to pick her up one day and take her to work. I call and say I'm on the way, 15 minutes later I'm out front and honk the horn. She get's pissed off because...she does not like when people honk the horn. What's the problem? She never told me that. Where I'm from, if you expect someone to come get you and they let you know they're coming, it's cool to honk the horn. If you don't like horn honking you don't bitch when you never mention you hate it. You ask the person to not do this in the future.
The last straw) She is supposed to come to my house one afternoon. Her mother, her and I shared a common...interest. An illegal one. She calls, normal hook up didn't come through can I provide. This is out of my buying rhythm so I have to search and I hate street purchases. I find, I call - she says her mother has had a bad day can I spend the night. I grudgingly agree. I come over and spend the night. The next day is my early day at work. So I have to bring shirt, pants, tie, and dress shoes. During the course of the night I say hey can I get a towel (can't remember why). "Oh, I need to wash I only have the towel I'm using (WHAT THE FUCK!). She never had to bring a towel to my house. No one does. If I invite (or ask/request/beg) you over all you need is clothes and deodorant. I can provide wash rags, towels and unused soap. I even keep a new toothbrush (still in the pack) just in case. How the hell do you invite me over and neglect to mention I need to bring a towel? So I wake up in the morning and wait to take a shower (and air dry). It's uncomfortable waiting for a bathroom especially when one of the people using it is the mother of someone you had sex with last night. So after it clears I go to take a shower and she says, " You can't, we're almost late." WHAT THE FUCK! I break and let her know there is no way in hell I'm stepping out of the house or off the second floor with out taking a shower. She wants to kirk out because there is one set of keys (which was stupid as well). I say look get the keys from your mother I'll drop you off, but whatever happens I'm taking a shower. She's pissed. I no longer care. Cleanliness is good kids. I drop her off at work and we have only spoken maybe three times since then.
Today
I have in my possession a jacket, 3 books, 3 c.d.s and a pair of slippers. She (hopefully still) has 1 book, 1 c.d. and my "going out of state" bag. I have tried to exchange these things but she would never return calls or emails. She eventually says she was being immature, she'll come over that saturday. No such thing happens. This was during 2003. I still have her things cause my stupid conscience will bug me for tossing someones things. I've even seen her cause she works in the building where our tech support people are. And I only cling to hope because one of the C.D.'s was Sweetback. Sade's band featuring, Bahamadia, Maxwell, and Leroy Osbourne (the guy that backs up Sade). I really like that C.D.
One day I'll tell you about her job and how she has since (I suspect) used it to strike at me. Now go rest your eyes cause I know they hurt.
posted by Amadeo at 7:53 PM
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