All men should be allowed to...

Certain things cause divisions and issues so I would like to express my opinion on some things that should be acceptable on behalf of men:

• Draft Day - I will be watching the draft tomorrow and I consider it a requirement. I need to know if my team is doing the right thing! Plus I gotta see what every other team is doing so I can begin formulating my picks for next years betting pool. Think of it as research that will provide me with money to take you out...later.
  
• N.F.L. - I've done the math and if I watch every game including 3 playoff games and the Superbowl that is a total of 48 hours. That's not much time for the ladies to sacrifice so that a man can reclaim his testosterone which is slowly siphoned off during the course of each day.
  
• ESPN - Ladies if you espose the virtues of ESPN you can cut down on the need of your guy to watch sporting events. It's like sports crack. One hit can do you good for a while.
  
• Scratching/Adjustments - Look, male genitalia has issues. For all the ladies that hate this, I suggest you tie a string around your waist and let one end hang between your legs. Take a hot dog and two boiled eggs, put the eggs in a sandwich bag and tie the string around them. Then put on a pair of boxers and walk around all day. Unless you learn how to move objects with your mind there will be some adjusting. Live with it, we do.
  
• Leaving the Toilet seat up - It's not a requirement but we do it for the same reason you want it down. Ease and Comfort. Besides as a guy I look before I leap. Answer a question, do ladies back into the bathroom with their eyes closed?
  
• Minimizing foreplay - Now, I appreciate the value of foreplay (especially since the Tao of Sexology) but ladies should realize that with an average man the time for sexual activity is reduced by equal the amount of time of arousal plus the time of foreplay. Unless your man knows special exercises you may sacrifice one for the other. (se)x = ^+4(play) - time taken.
  
• Lack of Understanding - Ladies if you think you are having a problem with your man and the only thing you can say is, "I feel as though" If you can't give an example, a situation or a description - we can't help. If you can't explain, I can't change.