Pardon Me (While I burst into flames)

Mr. McGee...don't make me angry...

I'm generally peaceful but these are things that push me to then end of my sanity and prove the ignorance in people.

People like to touch dreadlocks. For the lovely ladies I don't mind but we still gotta know each other. Everyone else should realize that just because everyone you know doesn't have locks does not mean that it's o.k. to just touch them. I may cut someones fingers off the next time they find their way to my hair...fair warning. Perhaps I'll just start sticking my hands in other peoples hair and see how they like it. Keep your grubby's off. (Humanity Critic has this and another issue covered here.)

On that note...STOP GIVING ME LOCK MAINTENANCE CARDS! Once again if I don't know you your hands will not be going in my hair. Additionally, stop showing your hood ass up at open mics and poetry events cause you know you'll have a chance to hit us up with business cards! Piss off, I am not coming to your shop/salon/kitchen for you to do anything in my hair.

Pacifists - I will kill you first. It's not natural to be totally unwilling to fight in any situation. Animals only back away when they know they'll lose. I've had people tell me to stop pushing negativity cause I asked what situation would have them fighting. Just cause you say something to me doesn't mean I'll beat you down. Just don't say the wrong thing. I feel like this: Use your words to resolve a situation, keep in mind some people don't understand words...pain is universal. The guy who said the pen is mightier than the sword knew how to use a sword and would if he had to.

Stupid Drivers. I won't list their transgressions but ya'll know the deal. I want to go Road Warrior on these cats. To crush their cars and stand on their heads while I burn their license is a fitting end for these idiots. I read this on Blogthings - You know your in Baltimore when: If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. Then I'll ride away laughing as I run down pedestrians who stare me down when they cross the street - slowly.

Young "Hip-Hop" heads who crack slick about Kool Herc. I will strangle you with a Mic cord while I rip through you via a freestyle in which I document the pillars of Hip-Hop and break down why 1) Kool Herc is owed gratitude and respect. 2) Most of these cats today suck. 3) Melle Mel had some of the best and continually relevant verses ever - (I cite The Message and Ramo's Tribute - RAMO!) 4) The best things about Jay-Z are rarely discussed (business savy). 5) I am better than most of the platinum artisits out here even though I have only been on one recording in the last two years. (the freestyle should suffice as proof)

People who never believe that I'm freestyling. This hasn't happened in a while but dudes used to challenge me cause of my rep and then say I was kicking a written. Hey Dumb-ass, my written rhymes would never be used to battle unless I became a politician. I battled in the dishroom of Old Country Buffet (stopping work for about 10 minutes). I have even battled at 3am when all I wanted to do was go home and make a turkey sandwich. I don't need to kick a written to serve a stupid person like you.

People who say things like: George Bush will make america safer. George Bush is a safety hazard in a elementary school fire drill. The only thing he makes safer is the business interests of Multi-Million dollar corporations. When will these people understand that a President is a public servant and a middle man? Treat his ass like one. Question him like you do the person at McDonalds when you find out you have one pickle on your Big Mac instead of two.

People who wait for months in line to see Star Wars. Look I love the movies, I could live by the Jedi Code. I also understand I need to work and pay bills. Plus it's someone like me who is willing to take your spot in line the day tickets go on sale and mug you down while you piss yourself and look for security. It's a great movie but that's all it is, go procreate or something before I shove your Jedi Robe up your ass and then hang your $300 lightsabre replica on my wall. B.T.W. I was the one in the back row drinking a Guiness and correcting your analysis about the facts in between the 2 and 3rd episode.

People who say Rock and Roll is "white boy" music. Goddamn it, I hope Chuck Berry and Jimi Hendrix haunt your ass until the day you die. All rock music can be traced from these guys. Berry as the innovator and Jimi as the father of the modern forms. The only thing I might consider "white boy" music is a Toby Keith song or polka, maybe (Plug 3 did some dope shit with some polka on a De La interlude once). I will beat you with a burning Fender Stratacaster while "Welcome to the Jungle" plays in the backround.


Blogger Jdid said...

ok agreed but the dudes who stand in line for months to watch star wars should not be allowed to procreate

12:04 PM  
Blogger Beloved said...

OK, I pretty much agree w/ your entire post (especially about the hip-hop and rock music), HOWEVER, I would probably be one of those folks that will tap dance on your last thread of sanity because I LOVE playing in people's locs...I must add that I always ASK first, though. :-)

12:58 PM  
Blogger Mala said...

Dammit... so you are saying that I can't swing from your dreds covered in Jello? Come on, I'm sure I'd ask first in my best comehither voice. I don't weigh much, it'll be fun I promise...

1:54 PM  
Blogger Mariposa said...

The comment about rock being "white music", I totally agree! Tell that to Berry, Hendrix, Slash (who is half), Vernon Reid, Fishbone, and all the other black folks making the music until Elvis and his ilk came around to try and copy it and make themselves some cash. That makes me so fucking mad. If there's one thing I get serious about, it is music.

About the pacifists, now, I won't fight anyone because I am one short-ass shorty (5'1"), and pretty much anyone could take me, then again, I've never tried, but don't want to take chances. I don't even talk shit to people unless they are REALLY asking for it. But I know when something is worth the fight and when it isn't.

And thanks so much for adding my blog to your list. I was very happy with that.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

The head IS sacred. I for one, like to accidentally back up and slam a three inch heel in your big toe or the pinky one - whichever I vibe will be more painful (heh, heh).

2:51 PM  
Blogger Nikki said...

That hair issue goes deep with me. I wore locs for 8yrs, cut them, and now I'm in the relocking process and I hate, hate, hate for people to touch my hair.

3:33 PM  
Blogger Breez said...

Congrats! You have officially placed yourself on the "Blogs Not to Read While Consuming Liquids" list. The Star Wars thing...I feel you. I'm a fan (and part time geek) my damn self, but folks really take things too far.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Danja said...

Hey, the loc thing is really an issue that a lot of people don't understand. It is like when people randomly go up to pregnant women and touch their bellies. like WTF??? When I had locs, everyoneeee wanted to touch them. After I cut them, now everyone wants to touch my fro and I'm like, YOOOOO stop.

I feel you on the star wars thing. I didnt even see episode 1 or 2 but I still felt like I knew more than the "fans".

LOVE the freestyle bit. Im soooo at the breaking point with my hip-hop relationship right now. We dont own the business of hip-hop, we never really did. We own the culture, just not the business, and this is a problem. we have to work on it.

Good post love.

8:11 PM  
Blogger YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

People actually put their hands on your dreds?? In the heat of the moment---pullin' on 'dem bad boys....yes! Common strangers just wanting to feel the "texture" and see if you really put mayo in them....uhhh NO!

To me, that's crossing the thresh hold of intimacy. I share your pain, tho. When I grew me hair out, then started having it box braided, people would "pinch" my roots to see if there were any extensions.

10:26 AM  

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