Dreams turning to Dust

One of my last grains of hope.

I do submit for all those who bear witness...there isn't much to believe in anymore. The Fat Boys broke up. Michael Jackson and Tyson are done....I'm left with Mike Jones...WTF! I never believed in government, but G.W. Bush - god damned. Elders are scared of the seeds. I'm starting to not want to deal with anything the general public calls Hip-Hop. I can't wear my Adidas to most so called "Hip-Hop" events. The Roots didn't have a song about a girl on the last album. The Dukes of Hazzard wave a racist flag....getting my drift? So I have come up with some things I still believe in.

1) Ray Lewis - People hated him after 2000, but c'mon - we learn not snitch on the schoolyard. Anyway I know that Ray will smack dudes around come football season. I know the provider of moments like: the Eddie George strip, head up hits on Jerome Bettis and the called interception againts the Broncos will not let me down. Plus Ed Reed is being groomed so that I have someone to transfer my belief to should Ray leave the game.

2) Guiness Stout - now I'm not feeling the draught in a bottle thing...but as long as I can crack a plain old stout I'm fine. It will remain the measure of if I can patronize a bar or not. I will continue to attend open mics that serve no booze with my stout in my pocket. Don't change.

3) Spiderman - Go ahead laugh. As long as I can keep in mind the fact that Spidey can save the day and still have trouble making the rent and holding down a job life is o.k. If the Amazing Spiderman can do wonderous things and still be late for appointments, I won't stress things like bills or being late either.

4) Live bands - where ever 3 or more people can get up and rock out, or give me some jazz and help me forget that people suck for at least 15 minutes, I'll make through the night. If they play at an open mic and I can get on that's even better. I'll live in the moment and worry about the rest later.

5) Salmon - I'm almost starting to like the world again. If I can get some salmon, grilled to perfection with enough slices of lemon - it's not all bad. If I can set up the grill and blow peoples minds at the thought that no...I didn't bring chicken, a steak - you're kidding - I got Salmon punks. They was marinating last night...back up.

6)Nina Simone and Sade - As long as these ladies have songs available for me to listen to I know that I can retreat from the world and turn up my stereo and let their voices soothe me into sweet oblivion. I do regret missing the Nina Simone concert that was in D.C. about two years before she died, however as long as I can throw on the C.D. things will be alright.

7) Catching Green lights - There are few life affirming moments as doing 50 - 60 in the city and hitting several green lights. Ah the freedom. When I don't even hit the brakes and just ease up on the gas in the curves, only to hit the gas again at the apex and pass people with better cars and smaller balls than me. L-O-V-E-L-Y.

8) Graffiti - As long as someone buys spray paint and caps or magic markers and writes on walls I will know there is still hope. As long as trains carry burners from state to state and light poles are tagged, it's not all bad. As long as stickers are placed on public and private property I'm good. Blaze your Burners high gents.

9) My Zippo - Trivial - maybe. It comforts me. As long as I can reach in my pocket and produce something with a flame and inch and half long I am content. I tell my self I will only get rid of it if I have to walk away from life. Should such a time come, I'm going to burn down...something. I'll leave a trail of lighter fluid and toss my lit Zippo towards and walk away, a silohuette against the flames (Kaiser Soze reference).

10) Video Game violence - At the end of a long day when I am done with executive directors and I can't just beat people down it brings me peace to know that I can commit all the digital violence I need. Until I'm allowed to backhand offenders I will have to be happy with violence on screen. Perhaps one day I can set up sparring matches with various members of the administration, but until then I'll settle for digital death.

If you have any glimmers of hope feel free to express them. I could use it.