Snob

How long was the scotch aged?...you savages!!!!

As nice of a person as I am, I do have some snobbish traits. I do have certain things I don't eat, but I've never been one of those, "My food was in the same room as something I won't eat people." My snob traits aren't highly visible but I am willing to express them...freely.

• I refuse to drink tap water. I feel no shame. I know the water is different in various cities and states but I only experiment with sex. Plus, I was witness to a demonstration for water filters and the quickness with which you absorb bullshit. Spring water for me kids.
  
• I refuse to drink Folgers, Sanka or any other bullshit coffee. My coffee is ground daily. I prefer French Roast or Italian. I'll make due with Espresso, but no garbage coffee. I also require cream not the powder shit.
  
• I need a Guiness Stout. I may be in the minority but I consider Coronas mexican piss water (don't get me started on those who put Grenadine in the shit...pussies). Heineken doesn't do it for me anymore. The last non-stout I had was Harp and I think I faked myself out cause it's made by the same people who make Guiness. B.T.W....don't ever bring me malt liquor.
  
• I will only use Listerine. This is more mental. I like clean teeth and the burning sensation is like a placebo. If nothing is happening at least my mind is fooled.
  
• I hate namebrand clothes and choose by fabric. I shun polyester with a passion, it doesn't breathe. Rayon....kiss my ass. Linen, Silk, Cotton, Irish Linen, Raw Silk, Wool...natural fibers ya'll. Synthetics can burn in hell.
  
• I only write with a Bold, Black, Uni-ball Vision Elite pen (sometimes the caligraphy pen, but thats for special things). Until I buy something more expensive and refillable, anyway. I refuse all others and subsequently I often refuse to let anyone else use my pen. I will search for ten minutes for any other pen, while I hold mine in my hand, but I won't let people hold it. So sorry, can't help you.
  
• Name brand food. The name brand whore in me works for food. The worst thing is when someone finishes off something of mine and replaces it with some store brand crap. Rite Aid brand spring water?!?! Curse you!
• No Bootleg Movies. Someone is always suggesting a good bootleg guy and I retch like preppy stuff shirt. I want the DVD with the extras, ok. I want clear quality. Why would I pay half price for a low quality copy with no extras. This ain't the early 90's with bootleg music. I can even find that online before I buy it. I would never taint myself with such grainy distorted filth.
• No fu-fu booze. Perhaps I am in the minority, but I don't want any "new" hooch. Scotch, Vodka, Tequila, Gin, and other things that have been around will suffice. No glowing shit. No sugary-sweet shit. I want it to slide down my throat and spread it's fiery wings in my chest.
• Emcee snob. No your favorite rapper does not impress me. Yes, the whisper song sucks. No Biggie and Tupac are not the Greatest of All Time. If you know nothing of Melle Mel's verse on Beat Street don't start this conversation. If your favorite emcee is too hard to live than I'd like to kill him. If half of his album sounds like a cheesy B-movie with a bigger effects budget than a storyline...he/she sucks. Hip Hop is over 30 if none of the people you listen to sound like it than you don't want to ride with me.