Helpful Hints for Dudes who Suck: Standing Out

Roses?! We don't need no stinking Roses?!?!?!

This is partially a helpful hint and partially a rant. Forever and a day people have given women roses. Roses, roses, roses. Now I agree that they are beautiful, but they are pretty common. Dudes come into clubs selling them. 7-11 sells them. I can think of 5 intersections at which I can purchase them. Every Valentines and any other holiday with romantic undertone...we give roses. Well not me, I have seen the light. The Asiatic Lily...it goes by a couple names, but that was my introduction and how I will know it. This is my personal flower. Not like it was present at my birth or something, but that is my calling card. When I give a flower this is what I give. Not to say I would never give any other type of flower..this is the one of my preference. I don't see people giving them all the time - hell, I've never seen anyone give them. This is my calling card. It becomes something that I wouldn't have to put a card on. It's presence signals...me and my intentions. Now it's not that expensive so it's not saying, "I'm paid and I choose you!". It does say, "I am giving you something beautiful and unique." For me that's what matters. Giving something that is not generic...no "standard gifts". This is from someone whose lighter matches one of his belt buckles (You've got to cooooooordinate- the middle is the Aztec Calendar - which is also on my bracelet).


I do little things to stand out. Perhaps because I try to observe things so I act like other people do as well. I have several calling cards of all sorts and perhaps people don't notice...but when they do they remember. It's like word association. Asiatic Lily = Amadeo. It takes thought and since it's not a rose I can't just pick one up from the Latino dude on Reisterstown and Druid Lake Drive. I have to go out and find that joint, I have to put out effort. I can't pick one up with a slurpee and a bag of chips. MORAL: Stand out fellas. Stop doing the same shit that people have done. Damn the Rose man at the club. Sorry Mr. Medium strip...I can't support the cause today...I may take some oranges though. I AM NOT SAYING USE THIS FLOWER. I already got dibs. Find one of your own. Just do something different. Hold off on roses for at least 5 years, then they'll be special again.