At this Juncture....

What you say!.....Young punk.

Though I am not actually old, yet, I feel as though it's good to look back and take account of what I've learned so far.


1) 85% of the population is stupid. Everyone has good moments but most people lose it when emotion gets involved. Always keep it together even though it means people will be pissed at you and may not listen at least you can step away intact. (The Ellen Ripley Rule...the only people that liked her died.)

2) Cops suck. It's the sad truth. I am partially biased, being a young black man, but for the rest of the population they still suck. They ruin parties, they make it so people can get to you without confronting you...in anyway. Despite the fact that they have authority and can ruin your day, week, year, etc. a lot of the time they're assholes when they don't need to be. If you disagree look around the room/car when cops become involved...the tone changes pretty quick. (The Sumumabitch Rule)

3)Women and Fights are very similar. You have to recognize when to get involved and when to walk away. If you get involved go for yours until you get knocked out. If you think you'll lose make sure you can walk away with your head up. Don't think about the end result...think about the moment, worrying about the out come is the fastest way to produce a bad one. (The Bruce Lee Rule)

4)Be able to get cash. Not everyone will be rich in this society, but you'll make out if you have at least three means of earning cash. If you can cover expenses with one, fun with another and stack off the third that's the best. (The Knife in the Boot Rule)

5) Put it out there. Benchriders only get splinters. It's easier to live with with a failure, but it's hard to live with knowing you never tried anything. To quote myself, "I'd rather piss in the wind than turn the other cheek, you get hit either way but at least it's reciprocity." ( The Til the Wheels Fall Off Rule)

6) Knowing helps. I fashion myself as the diety of obscure facts and references, but I can't say how many times that knowledge has come in handy for me. It's great to master one thing, but life is more than one thing. Subsequently dont fall victim to the phrase "Jack of all Trades master of none." (The Ken Jennings Rule)

7) Alot of people + booze + sexual tension = Drama. I seen it so many times. You can usually feel it when you walk into a place. THE CROWD CANNOT BE TRUSTED WHEN DRUNK. Especially when dudes are showing off for the ladies. It's even worse when a) the ladies like drama b) dudes can't recognize the situation. Don't say I didn't warn you. ( The Crenshaw Rule...Ricky was just chilling with his bag of chips, he didn't want no beef.)

7a) Don't drink liquor that costs less than beer. Trust me. (The Mad Dog Rule)

8) Nothing is trivial. This applies in all situations. Everything means something and even if you don't know the meaning be aware of things. Observe all situations and you can pull the best from them...or avoid the worst. Plus it's kick ass to remember things when everyone else forgets. Bonus points for remembering more than your boss. (The Bronx Tale Rule - "Everyone was smiling except for this one face...")

9)Sometimes you have to bump younger cats. Seems strange but it's true. I'll go walking through a mall or some such place with my work gear on and for some reason young dudes think a tie makes you a punk. I don't think there will ever come a time when I'm afraid of the group of young dudes walking towards me. A "pardon me" and an elbow/shoulder combination go well together. This goes intellectually as well. Sometimes you gotta kick them in the ass when they aren't thinking straight. (The Zimmer Rule - Pedro did the right thing, any old man that rushes you has to be treated seriously.)

10) Know who your friends are. This is simple but we forget it and are reminded when we need people. When trouble comes false friends vanish like roaches when you hit the light switch. The other part of this is that you can't leave the real friends hanging out there. Nothing is worse than the person you would go through hell for forgeting you. (The Watch Your Front Rule)