M.C. Mortgage Payment

"....when we perform it's Coffee shop Chicks and White dudes."
Common


This is the lament of a closing-in-on-30-Emcee who can't listen to most of whats out. What's a man to do? Consider further the fact that I still like to perform and am in the process of recording. Add to the equation that from knowledge of the industry and talks with fellow C.I.O.T.E.s who have been meeting with companies...I more than likely will never get a deal. I don't kill anyone in my songs. I don't talk about rims, booze...basically any of the things that I hear in the mainstream. The best crowd for me to rock is at Poetry Events...sad huh(isn't that a Paradox? Rock/Poetry event)? That's where people tend to listen the most to what you actually say instead of using you as a reference for shopping lists. The last few times I went to a "Hip-Hop" event I didn't feel most of what was being presented. I respect someones lyrical prowess, but I'm beyond "o.k. he can battle". Especially cause even in most battles people aren't as lyrical, it's just an extension of thug raps. Even though you can express how you can empty the clip and lift me up like elevators, I need a little more. Another factor in my circumstance is that I have been referred to as "Thesaurus Boy". I like words and being that rhyming has to do with lyrics, I use a wide variety of words and references. I have actually had people come to me months down the line and give me props for a line cause they just got it. When people are backing me up I know where I need to speak up cause no one is sure how to pronounce that word. I thought everyone knew what a masochist was. I will admit that nine times out of ten I will avoid the simple word that may suffice, but often the big word sums up more. I mean...I have a verse on a song about breastfeeding...I am not a normal emcee. I've come to realize that most of my "audience" is blogging, or changing the baby, or at home watching Seinfeld reruns and the Daily Show. Alot of them probably buy more rock and jazz at the moment than Hip-Hop. What's worse most of my "audience" are other artisits and I know from experience it's a bad place when the only people you can count on to check you out are performing later that night. I know most people who would appreciate my art are planning on building something...just as I must. I can't fit right into this music scene...I have to build/pull together the scene around me. I know I have to represent anywhere, but I want to surround myself with similar people. It sucks to hear myself on stage and feel like I'm the old man in the room. Everyone is talking about scooping up shorties and I'm thinking, "I can't even associate with half of these women in here, they ain't wife material." I always hear Chris Rock, "where you meet mommy? - Oh, She was in a club singing about balls." I don't mind being the one if I have to, but I always think if they loved the guy before me what are they thinking when they listen to me? Are they acknowledging me? Are the just saying, "He one of them conscious niggas." and blocking me out? I hate those catagories...it means that people aren't realting what someone says to their life. I'm over here and they're over there and never the twain shall meet. When I hear the thug-thizzle I know it means I've got more to do. That's another issue I always wonder if I was to be classified what would they call me...I remember coming up on some Digable Planets in an alternative section and I could almost see myself right next to them. I know that many of the most famous artists died poor and that prophets are hated in their own country, but Hip-Hop used to be relevant. I know there were party tracks, but there were plenty of songs that I learned something from. It's hard to swallow that I'll say a whole bunch of real life things and my people won't relate. I want to hear about my favorite emcee getting married or having a child...tell me about how you bought a pick-up so you could haul stuff for the yard or something. I'm tired of hearing people older than me talk about doing things that people younger than me will die trying to keep up with. I need to hear about life...and it would be nice if the crowd was more than coffee shop chicks and white dudes.