Behind the Blog: The Early Years

"I don't think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go."
Lillian Carter

Now, lets take some time to look at the steps that have brought the Anhedonic cat you've all grown to know and love (or just laugh at) to where he is in his life. While I do think things through, it's because of experience and wisdom more than knowledge. Let's just say having blisters all over the palm of my hand is the way I learned the iron gets hot. So now let us take a stroll through recollection and see some of the things that has shaped me into the twisted individual I am.

1 year + When we lived in an apartment in Texas I once knocked out the screen in the window and climbed outside. Me and my trusty Dukes of Hazzard car were going for a walk. This is actually one of my first memories. So after a brisk jaunt through the complex I went home. The problem being that all those doors looked alike and I didn't know numbers and letters. So I picked up a newspaper wrapped in plastic inserted my car into it and started banging on a door Eventually my mother picked my up from behind and whisked me home. Ahh...exploration.

2 years + In the middle of our apartment complex there was a nice sized swimming pool. One day as I walked my mother to do the wash. I made up my mind to impress her with my swimming ability. With a quick shout of "Look Ma!" I made a beeline for the pool and jumped in the deep end. Of course I had never swam in my life. Thankfully my mother was a champion swimmer in the Airforce. This was also when I learned that your mother shouting the word "Boy" can function as cursing.

4 years After moving to Bmore My family quickly learned that I was an unusual child. For one thing I was very literal. Telling me to do things like, "Throw this glass in the sink" resulted in alot of broken glasses and a policy change in how I was given instructions. This might be the reason my grandmother still details every step of what she is asking me to do even though I'm an adult. I also used to run with my head down until I hit the porch doors so maybe she thinks I rattled something.

5 - 6 years Most of the fights in my life have been with people larger than myself (Bully issuess). Well one time I was saved from fighting. There was some teenager (asshole) who thought it was funny to stick his air rifle in the ground and shoot a clod of dirt in my face. I did not see the humor. I didn't consider that this kid was almost twice my size I was just mad. So He promptly got a punch into the best place I could reach. No not the nuts, but the place I find most fun. The diaphragm. Luckily my aunt realized that it was best to pull me on in the house while dude stood there trying to get his breath.

9 - 10 years I have mentioned this before, but...look I really used to like the movie "A Christmas Story" and during that time we had an old refrigerator with coils at the top. One morning as the movie was on before I had to leave for school, I happened to be looking in the fridge and I got to wonder...you know the pole scene and all. Well lets just say I sounded just like that kid as I called for help (except for the crying and screaming) I was saved and my mother made me go to school anyway. For the record I was not really thinking, it was an impulse...shut up.

21 years This is a big forward, but it's a good illustration. One fine payday I walk to this club spot that has been many things but was at this time (and still is today) called Gordon's. Someone I know was having something and I had no plans so I went. The event was o.k. but I really wasn't in the mood and there weren't that many people. So I end up chilling at the bar and kickin it with the two female bartenders. So I'm ordering drinks and I realize I should have something different. So I started asking them to suggest things. Since most of the people were upstairs I was able to hold their attention and they started getting into it. They would suggest I would give a thumbs down or try the suggestion. Before anyone thinks that I was getting suckered by the cute bartender, I paid for about $30 in drinks that night, I easily drank $60 or more worth of booze. The bartenders really got into it and started thinking up drinks to see if I had tasted them before. They even made up a drink and named it after me. Don't ask me what was in it. As I stumbled my ass home I knew it was a bad idea...but it sure was fun.


Blogger Nikki said...

LOL, I like this post. Kinda like an Everybody Hates Rahsaan. Good stuff.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Anacaona said...

This was too funny!

At what age did they start telling you that they would beat the devil out of you?

>"Look Ma!" I made a beeline for the pool and jumped in the deep end.


4:25 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

Yo man. I was about to tell you that... lmao! Mannn, this was funny. Nice job... lol

5:11 PM  
Blogger Byebye said...

Okay, now I understand....lol..good post kicko.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Midlife Crisis said...

I can't relate. Honestly. Middy was the model child. I really was. I was quiet and obedient and did not experiment with any of the usual suspects--matches, refrigerators and the like.

But something happened when I hit adolescence. Suddenly I became the queen of "What if?". Like what if I stood here in front of the bathroom mirror and pierced my nose with a hot sewing needle?

Which I did... Among other things.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Jdid said...

i'm still laughing at throw the glass in the sink

8:50 PM  
Blogger Clay said...

this is a good one -- havent really something like this before -- lol ... be sure to bless my blog!

8:53 PM  
Blogger Beloved said...

I'm cracking up at Nikki saying Everybody Hates Rahsaan. Dude! You've got to go to my "Casting Call" post and tell me who would you cast as yourself in the Blog Movie....

11:08 PM  
Blogger Brother OMi said...

man it reminds me of that commercial... when the mother is like "how will he make it to 5..?" and so on and so forth

i can say this. when i get a ceasar (which is rare) there are several knots and scars on it... i can not even guess why

10:10 PM  
Blogger piranha said...

i am all with you.
i actually was proud of my scars. the funniest thing, however, was when my mom beat me up because i fell from that high tree and had my lip ripped because i happened to hang on this branch that caught me in my fall with my mouth....aaaaargh.
so, i am all bloody and screaming and the first thing she does is to beat the shit out of me.
i still giggle, thinking of it. my god, poor mom.
this post is a good inspirartion to reflect on the things thats shaped me..might be my next post actually....

and yeah, when i have a kid i want a boy...
like you :)


12:53 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

This was a fun read. So what's happened the last 5 years?

5:59 PM  

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