Working with Youth for Dummies

"Youth is not wasted on the young. The young know how truly dreadful youth can be. Their youth is wasted on everyone else, that’s the horror. The young have no authority, no respect. "
Anne Rice

Ah yes the wonders of working under a federal grant...it sucks pretty bad. The worst part about my job is that I help youth and I work under adults who always try to "cool" things up. Just look at the name of the program. These are some of the worst experiences you can have. and I'll go into some of my pain with you all.

• Club Night - This seemed like a good idea at the time. I, knowing what clubs in Baltimore are like knew I would hate this. I spent the entire night like a priest at a catholic school dance seperating people, "Leave room for the lord". The difference is that these aren't kids dancing close and grabbing ass. This is dry humping on the floor. After the first two I refused to go to anymore. Since I have heard tales of sex in the bathroom. Dudes having asthma attacks and other patrons basically like, "fuck him!". The funny thing is the people who's idea it was weren't there.
• Slang on flyers - This is a horrible idea. If you are older than 35 than do not attempt to use slang that you don't know about. This has ended up in mispellings like for one dance "Shake your boddie". I know what it should say, but for real just give it up. You may have been hip at one point in time, but no longer. Even I at 26 (almost 27) don't try that nonsense. I mean I am from the age group that had D.L. taken from them so I can't even trust the slang I do know.
• Poetry Slams - Look for certain segments of the community poetry is cool. However don't think just because Def Jam has a show on HBO that all the kids love it...they don't. Hell they won't really come to a hip-hop event cause we won't let them in high or drunk. Plus I don't like to play bullshit...but hey what do you want?
• The R.V. - This is a rarely working machine that is used for recruiting young folks. The theory is that if we pull up in it and blast "music the kids like" then they'll come in droves. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Just because you play some Tupac don't mean kids will want to get their G.E.D. Plus they know what you're trying to do and they don't think you're cool.
• Naming Ceremony - Everytime it's time to have an event someone tries to come up with some "cool" name. For some reason they think if it sounds cool that kids won't figure out they're coming to learn something. They are not fooled by titles. The worse part is that these names end up sounding like some Japanese show -"The super happy fun time Job readiness class".

Adults suck.