Hey Ma! Revisited

"If I get up out of this bed!"

A while back I wrote a post about my mother, hoping to shed more light on the sickness of my mind. I would be remiss to follow up on this segment. Darth Vader is the representation cause she introduced me to Star Wars and is one of the main people I can get into a geek conversation about it with. Plus she's the Darth Vader in my life and the only living person I still have some fear of.

Dealing with Children - I mentioned before that my mother always taught me to speak to children like adults. Since they are learning from you, if you talk baby talk that's what they will learn. Well, my mother had some other unique ideas about dealing with the youth. When she was younger my cousin was going through a biting phase. She bit people what can I say, I never did it. My mother kept saying, "ya'll need to curb that now." Well one day my mother had to take something from my cousin and my cousin bit her...so my mother bit her back. My cousin stood there stupefied for a minute and really didn't know how to react. My mother walked way and said,"Hurts don't it?"

Dealing with Me - My mother believes in the pecking order. I have been informed at various ages that "I will always be her baby/child." There fore I always have to stay with her when we are out. When I was little she held my hand and walked at my pace. Now, she grabs my arm and makes me walk at hers. She briefed me on the positions I am required to take when walking with her or any other woman. Between people and her purse and between her and cars. When she first told me about the car thing I asked what was the use. My concern was that it would just mean that if a car is coming I'm sure to be hit. "Exactly" she said, "I raised a good shield, didn't I?".

On another hand my mother is very understanding during the years when I was a viable target for police and couldn't catch a cab (wait, I still can't) she held me down. I have seen her fuss at police on my behalf and when we needed to catch a cab she made me stand back while she hailed them down. Gotta love it.

Dealing with People - This is one reason my mother still causes some fear in me. My aunt used to have a boyfriend named Curtis. Well one day the four of us are sitting in the living room and Curtis is playing around with my aunt. I can't even remember what the hell he was doing, but my aunt kept telling him to stop. All of a sudden I hear this loud ass thud. I look up, my mother is sitting back down and Curtis is clutching his chest trying to catch his breath. As soon as he could speak he told my mother, "I was just playing" my mothers response (from behind the T.V. guide), "I don't like when people play with my sister like that." I figured then I don't want my mother seriously mad at me ever in my life.

Dealing with Drama - I used to have a lot of issues...I don't mean Psychological, those came along later in life. I mean asthma and a large number of injuries (I was clumsy and curious). I must say that the only time I ever saw her running and slightly out of sorts was when I got hit by a car...good story in itself. So I get hit by a car, my mother comes running out out the house. I blacked out so I didn't know what was going on. I ask my mother, "What happened did someone get hit by a car?" - her response. "shut up and stay on the ground boy!"

Or how about during a sleep walking episode, I wake up downstairs scared unsure about what was going on. I start yelling for my mother. She wakes up and says, "You was sleep walking, come on up here and go back to sleep." I swear my mother telling me to do something cuts through any fear.

How about my mothers favorite quote for your sob story. You whine and complain and my mother says look {index finger and thumb rubbing together} you ask what's that...she says the smallest violin in the world and it's playing for you. Every now and then my mother calls me a wise ass and I let her know it's genetic.


Blogger Luke Cage said...

What?? You can get into a geek conversation with Ma Dukes? Now THAT is the epitome of cool. And the relationship you have with your mom, is pretty tight dawg. Nice job...

Smallest violin in the world... lol

9:06 PM  
Blogger Laylah Queen of the Night said...

I'm feeling your moms. Sounds like a tough, fair and sweet cookie!

I knew about the car thing, but not about walking between the purse. Good to know.

10:11 PM  
Blogger brooklyn babe said...

Your mom could have her on show, I'm like Luke, still stuck on "smallest violin..."
Go Momz.

12:39 AM  
Blogger Nikki said...

Your Mom sounds like she's cool to kick it with. Straightfoward. I like that.

9:43 AM  
Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

I love how she slipped Curtis some manners. Nice one.

9:59 AM  
Blogger TJ said...

Your mom sounds like my kinda lady. I esp. agree with her views on how to treat kids. Kids can understand much more than people give them credit for. All that goo-goo gaa-gaa shit is for the birds. Maybe that's why mine talks like a little old woman.

As for the biting thing, it makes me feel better about how I treat my daughter. She is 8 has this bad habit of leaping into the arms of someone when giving them a hug, or jumping into people's laps. This was cute when she was about 2 or 3, but now, having 60 pounds of pure energy hurling at you is a bit frightening. I have asked her time and time again to stop, to no avail. Eventually I [my back] couldn't take it anymore, and I decided to hurl myself at her. Then proceeded to sit on her until she promised never to do it again. She pouted and gas-faced me for the rest of the night, but let me tell you, she hasn't done it since.

10:02 AM  
Blogger feels good b n FREE said...

ur mom had the right idea!

12:59 PM  
Blogger K said...

moms sounds like a gem. you must really appreciate the combination of strength, humor and sensitivity.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Byebye said...

Yo my Mom is who took me to see the initial star wars joints too.

Thank God for great Moms!

My Mom always told me "I don't care what color woman you bring here as long as she isn't ugly, I don't want any ugly grandchildren"...and she still says it...I love that.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Dawud said...

I'm 37 and to this day i still feel 15 around my mom...i still fear when she may not approve of something i may have done..

2:54 PM  
Blogger Ms Peculiar said...

I hope that I am as cool of a mom as yours is.

3:10 PM  
Blogger Coffey0072 said...

Your mother sounds hilarious.
My mother, well, she's cool but she has been the cause of some traumatizing moments for me.
Like the time (many years ago during our youth) I overheard her explaining to my older sister (matter-of-factly) what Sheena Easton meant by "sugar walls." Or the time she was talking to my youngest sister (during her tweendom) about the importance of condoms, because "drippage" is a common occurrence.
Pardon me now while I go in a corner and rock back and forth in a fetal position, from the memories.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Midlife Crisis said...

^ Laughing at Coffey's mom. She is off the richter, for real. LMAO.

Amadeo, your mom sounds amazing. Imagine what she will be like in twenty years? She'll be falling-down-funny hysterical. I love raw-as-hell, funny old ladies. I could sit at their feet all night.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Brother OMi said...

eeringly enough, your mom sounds like my mom


12:12 AM  
Blogger smallislandgirl said...

I hope to be as good a mom as yours I love this post.

12:01 AM  
Blogger Safire said...

Mom sounds like a real prize(comma) yo. You're lucky she had backbone. Otherwise, you might have come out a Baby Boy a la Tyrese in the John Singleton flick.

2:54 AM  
Blogger jamiam said...

I'm learning.. taking notes and learning.. :)
Never did understand why people talked to babies so stupidly. I've always wondered if babies are thinking what idiots we are for doing that. lol.


10:31 AM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:16 AM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

Your moms is too cool! I am also raising a Jedi princess and must engage in conversations of the force and the lineage of the Skywalkers. I raise purse/car shields also!

5:19 AM  
Blogger beautyinbaltimore said...

I love your mom. Since we are both from b-more I may have run into her before.

11:27 PM  
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