More from the Geek File

I can't help this one so all non-geeks bear with me and we will return to our regularly scheduled gripes, complaints and ideas. The purchase of the movie and the fact the Skip Bayless on Cold Pizza disagrees (and the fact that I don't like him lately) make this necessary.

Alien vs. Predator

I keep hearing this debate and everytime I usually hear people say the Predator would win. So that my soul can rest easy I will detail why the Aliens would win. [For format sake I'll use the arguments that the wrong losers have given - Snide comments in red]

1) The Predator can turn himself invisible. So the hell what.

The aliens naturally camoflage themselves. In all the Alien movies is a scene where one of the creatures grabs someone from a space in the wall where it's been sitting the whole time. If the aliens have been in a place for an amount of time their secretions make the environment more viable to do this in. The added bonus is that the Aliens are more animalistic and use all of their senses so even if it can't see it (presumably) can smell.

2) The Predator has all types of lasers and weapons. Sissies.

The Predator does have alot of weapons but they are all things that are created and can be taken or even just dropped and lost. The Alien is a weapon. Claws, teeth (along with a second extendable jaw), a tail (which is basically a muscle) that equates to a spear and acid for blood. Include the fact that they know their blood can burn through things and either purposefully or by accident you still have a problem. We must also consider that with all weapons the individuals skill level may vary where as with animals they all possess a basic level of knowledge of how to use, basically their body which happens to be a weapon.

3) The Predator has a nuclear bomb. He's punking out.

That's right. He's committing suicide. It only constitutes forcing a draw. He cannot win in this instance. His goal is to hunt a creature kill it and take a trophy without that he has lost. The Aliens goal is to keep the species alive. All they do is breed. They only even kill when under threat, otherwise their target becomes a host for the next Alien. So while you may stop a particular group with such an act you would only stop the species if you blew up every place where they exist.

Basic theory: All of the advantages that a predator may have are technological and can be taken away from him. All of the advantages that an Alien has are natural. An Alien also gains advantages from the particular creature it gestates inside of (in Alien3 the creature had doglike qualities because the egg was laid in a dog, in AvP the "infant" Alien had the qualities of a Predator.) Aliens while seemingly animal are intelligent and learn very quickly. This is a species that with a Queen and a drone can increase their numbers to that of any force aligned against them or any living beings around them, simultaneously removing threats to themselves. Predators themselves believe the Alien is the ultimate predatory creature and use them to weed the worthy from the unworthy amongst themselves. This acknowledges that the Predator understands dealing with the Alien is a definite challenge. We've already seen Predators fall to a soldier and a cop. Where as the people in Alien movies only survived. No one in an Alien movie defeats the Aliens, they escape them. The Aliens are a swarming sea of evolution. The shark of outer space. The perfect Predator.


Civil Disobedience

I am a trouble maker. I have conducted more protests in various forms in my 26 years than many people ever will. This is partially because I have a strong sense of justice, it's mostly because of inner asshole gets a kick out of making people in positions of authority uncomfortable. In my high school years I was one of a few cats that had locks. This was back when people with locks would all speak to each other on the street. Now I speak to these young cats and they wanna mug me down. Any way this group (run by my old english teacher) published this newsletter and one of the sections had something on hairstyles. They listed dreadlocks and put in parenthesis (badboys/girls). So naturally I had to approach the culprits explaining the various spiritual and philosophical reasons behind dreadlocks and demand that they either retract the statment or allow me to print a retort. The newsletter was never published again. My problem is most people don't care enough to go through the procedure so in that case it was fun to denounce such uninformed heathens, but I really wanted to write a retort and was dissapointed when I couldn't. More recently, the job I currently hold used to take a long time to pay people. I don't mean like a month turnaround. I had to borrow money from my mother for almost two months. We used to get paid via the state and if a particular person was on vacation you would have to wait for them to come back, sign off and then complete your payroll information. So after I've been working for a few months I finally go my first training with a group of new hires. I'm watching them borrow money and bring bag lunches for weeks. Finally they start breaking. Now I'm getting paid and going out for my lunch but once again a combination of my inner asshole and my sense of justice has me suggest a walk-out. The only person in the room getting a paycheck leads a walk out of the training. I convinced 25 other people to not go to class and demand that some one from B.C.C.C.s administrative offices (the state agency that held the funds and paid the front line staff) come let us know (really them) what the deal was. So eventually they send down the vice-president to calm the situation and make some provisions to get paychecks moving. As a result the liason for our staff at B.C.C.C. resigned. She resigned after a crying fit about how she was up all night concerned over how they had yet to be paid. I would feel bad about her resigning but it was a ridiculous situation No one should work more than a week and a half after having already turned in the needed info prior to starting the job. My current project involves my job, lack of funding, community elders and and a stubborn ignorant Executive director named Ernest Dorsey. I love to start shit.


I just saw Alien Versus Predator and Sanaa Lathan gets a lil' more props then Sigourney. I will also explain why the Predator from the first movie was a punk. I shall return to explain further.


What's the matter with adults today

Save the children, smack the adults

The above link is an example of the sickness that inflicts adults today. It is a testament to their willingness to take the smallest actions and have them dealt with by official entities. Consider the whole Katie Couric "teens and sex" report. Teens have been having sex - forever. If they are more perverted it's because society is as well. They advance with the rest of us. Society still gets up in arms about things that have been happening for decades. I remember a big story about them catching a kid getting beat down on a bus on film they treated it like a horrible incident. I've seen more cats get their ass whipped on busses than a little bit and all of them were much worse than that. Adults had better start acting more realistic if they hope to tackle these problems with any effectivness.

Bonus Bitch:

Adults should no longer be allowed to say: "I don't know what's wrong with these kids today. When we came up we were taught to respect things." You don't lose children, you leave them. Children are a responsibility and they only learn what we teach them. This country is eating it's young. The worst part is I work with youth and the program I work with and many others like it are numbers driven so they really don't focus on the quality of assistance they give. Then as few of these programs as they are most are underfunded and aren't supported well. In the meantime I watch all this community development and money go to all of these other things which will never last because we aren't teaching the people who should grow up to take them over. We borrow the world from our children. They will have to deal with all the mistakes we leave behind. Are we even preparing them? I think about the books they used to make people read in school and I have read maybe 2 of them (in school). I've read more classic literature on my own than I was required to from pre-k through high school. Alot of people may say that it's up to those individuals to do it on their own - in a world where certain groups of youth who would gladly delve into art and literature never get exposed to it. Thus they never know there is something they need to go explore. On a basic level...I'm required to give these assesments and, I shit you not, more drop outs (people who lost interest in school) score on a 12th grade level in reading and math than those who have diplomas. I learned one thing that I encountered on the S.A.T. within two years of actually taking them. This subject was not even supposed to be in the curriculum but my english teacher gave it to us because she knew we would have it. People say you have to do it yourself and provide for you and yours but, what good is it to give my children everything when 89% of their peers won't have and will be willing to hurt them to take it from them. If we can't look out for more people we create a "welcome to the jungle" atmosphere. In such a place the "haves" become targets.


Musings of a Star Wars Geek

I am a Star Wars geek. I am one of those cats that believes if I live by the morals and codes established by Star Wars life will be good. I am one of the people who are not dissapointed in the new movies. I feel like we already know the story so the new movies are just backround information. I don't care that George Lucas added new scenes, it's his movie and even though he had some of the best effects until that point he still didn't have the ability to do everything he wanted. I do have a problem with one added scene for continuity purposes but I won't annoy you with the details. There are some things that interest and concern me which is the purpose for this post.


  1. It bothers me that Leia and Luke are brother and sister and they never address her almost frenching him in Empire Strikes Back.
  2. R2-D2 and Chewbacca should get subtitles - two of the most interesting characters and you never get to understand what they say save by the responses of others. Chewbacca did have a lot of emotion though.
  3. Boba Fett just needs counseling - perhaps a Jedi cutting off his fathers head and leaving him alone on a strange planet at about age 10 or 11 did something to his personality.


  1. It tickles me that Darth Vader, one of the most menacing and uncomprimising figures in film built C3PO, one of the most proper, fearful, tight, and basically anti-threatening characters. My theory is that C3PO represents the things he lost as he was corrupted. Kinda like the innerchild he ignored.
  2. It tickles me even further that Darth (see attributes above) was a whining ass, punk kid. I wanted to smack Anakin through most of the second movie.
  3. The Millenium Falcon is like your first car. It doesn't work right, it always has a problem but it's kinda like how could you leave it behind and get a new one.

Just some thoughts and if you think that I'm a geek because of this don't make me give you my dissertation on how the Alien would be the natural choice in Alien vs. Predator. I also have a list of why I am most like Ellen Ripley.



All the women prepare to doubt...I have never cheated. Not once in my entire life. While I have only been in 4 commited relationships, I have never slept with more than one woman at the same time. Perhaps in the same month but only after I've moved on with the first. My philosophy is if I want to commit that's the choice. There is no need to deal with anyone else. As I tell my clients who all think they are pimps etc., A player wouldn't have to lie, he just tells you what the deal is. And for those who consider that chauvinistic, a woman of any character wouldn't accept a circumstance that is not to her liking. Actually a man of quality wouldn't want a woman that let's herself get backed into a situation that she does not like. That's what I try to tell my clients. There was a time that I wanted to have women falling out of my pockets but upon trying I discovered that I naturally whittle them down over time. I can't deal with more than one person so if I'm talking to three girls over the phone one of them will end up standing out and the other two will fall by the wayside. Now I don't even pretend like I could keep up interest in more than one person. I can't expend the energy that it takes to sleep with more than one woman at once even if I'm not committed to any of them. Beyond all of this I value a relationship, I am one of the minority that marriage still means something to (and I mean out of men and women). If I am willing to commit then I want you and no one else. If I don't want to commit then I won't AND I will say this up front. My main problem has been the ones who want to believe that I'm not a man of my word so they feel like they can make me change my mind. These are the ones who equate sex to love. I think that's base and disgusting. The ideal is to have sex with a person you love, but sex is not how I express love. My actual definition of love is doing things for someone in order to nurture them so they can be come the best "them" that they can be without wanting anything in return - including the good feeling of having helped someone. Sexual attraction is chemical reaction. I started a poem about it once but never finished. It ran down the various chemical/hormonal reactions that take place when between a man and a woman when they are attracted to each other sexually. Love, IMHO, is a matter of the mental and spiritual backed by will power. A sexy body will not make me fall in love, an intelligent mind may. On the other end the sexy body helps...something has to pull you in initially. That's not to say I might not be blindfolded and hear someone give a dissertation and fall in love with their ideals. Don't forget though, the ideal is to have sex with someone you love. It's balancing the chemical with everything else. The problem with most people is that they let the chemical take control and try to explain it later. Real people master the chemical. I won't front an erect penis will put some strange thoughts into your head, you just have to be able to not entertain them enough to make you take action.

Annoyances # 1,589,375 & 1,589,376

It kills me that every year we go through the same thing here. Every year I hope it will be different and I am immediatley let down. People of Baltimore hear my cry, It snows every year let's act like it. Why I forgot the pandemonium is beyond me but as I pulled into the safeway parking lot the sight of triple the number of cars reminded me. When ever snow is forecast everyone shops like we'll be trapped in our homes for a month. No one was trapped. I drove all three days of the snow. The only reason I didn't come to work yesterday was, well cause I could get away with it and work sucks. I know that down south it's worse when they get much less snow than we had. Their excuse is they are not used to it. I used to be marginally dissapointed if it did not snow at least once during the year (that's pre-solo-shoveling and digging out my car). The worst thing that ever happened to me as a result of a snow storm was not convincing my girl to come down the day before. WE WILL NOT DIE PEOPLE. Ahhhhh...

Now my other annoyance...John Legend, well #6 on his album "Number One". I can't call this an actual " I'll never cheat again song". I can only justify it as the words of someone who JUST got caught. My problem is by the end of the song he hasn't said shit. Every other line cancels out the previous one starting from the opening. "You can't say I don't love you just because I cheat on you." I think alot of women have dude. The whole song is like that. The lines following those justify the love by explaining what he has done to hide his cruddy actions. First it annoys me because it gives the ladies another chance to say, "See ya'll all alike.", to a brother that has never cheated on anyone in his life. Then I have to go through the usual routine. It's like lying, most people do so if you say you don't people won't believe you cause how could you be any better than them. The second reason is he has some stuff on there that I really like and that song ruins it. Even Kanye's verse had a clear and focused thought. Too much double talk John. I will say this though he did give me an entry and an idea for the next one.


Blackplanet -Love?

So I have a page on Blackplanet and I also have a love profile thing. The problem is I never intended to use it. So I go on today (which makes twice in the past few weeks) and the love thing comes up and I notice I have admirers. One of them killed their profile and the other is some 19 year old girl in New York. I'm thinking I need to just nix the whole page cause as it stands it's like I'm leading people on. I am not going to drive or catch the bus to N.Y. to meet someone who saw my picture on the internet. Even if it was a closer city I need some conversation time and what not but for real I didn't start any of that to meet people. I have enough problems screening the people I meet face to face. If I have to start screening people via the internet that might be too much. The heart of the problem is I'm an account junkie. Yes, I'm one of those people that starts accounts on various web sites just to see what they wouldn't show me as a guest. I actually have combinations of username-passwords so I don't have to do a lot of memorization. It's a problem and now it's affecting others. Sometimes if I don't set a computer to memorize passwords or usernames I'm lost on some accounts I actually want to use. Especially if by some chance someone there has used my name of choice. Amadeo is new for me but I usually use some swahili and yoruba names, so I was always pissed if someone had used one of those. I understood if they used my name from the movie Dune or some geek culture icon name that was on my mind that week. But I have to stop this. The only thing I can really commit to is this blog, but that is also because it means I don't have to mutter to myself as I sit at my desk as much and I have instant venting potential when I can't contact someone I care to share my thoughts with. Sorry B.P. girl I was only flirting with the idea of the account I actually have no interest. I also apologize to those I put on my hot list. I logged in and they asked me what I thought of you, I didn't know it formulated a list and sent you a line. I just like to answer questions honestly. I hope I haven't hurt anyone. Take me off the list and allow me to browse casually and comment on forum topics randomly as they catch my interest.


Girlfriend Retrospective # 4

This brings us to the last. Well the last of actual "girlfriends". Flings and the like are not included. This was Larrisa. Larrisa was very pretty she was mixed (white mother, black father) but because people used to assume she was white she was privy to a lot of negative comments (blacks were in the minority at all the schools she went to) and eventually declared herself black. She was that complexion where you might mistake her for being white but (does this sound bad?) when you look at her you could tell she wasn't. Larrisa saw me at an event for my job (a play some of my clients were in) and got the job coach that comes to my center to give me her number. I called her, we talked and decided to have lunch. I always remember the date (December 13th 2002) because that evening we had a memorial for the first of my clients to pass away (the client I mentioned in Spirits). She was cool, she listened to my ideas and and far out theories. She was older and (as it happens with older women I've met) could identify with alot of my ideas because she had experienced alot of the things I spoke of. We continued talking and would get together now and again, I found out later I pissed her off because of my "cool approach" (see: Tao of Amadeo). Basically I talked to her and we chilled but I never sweated sex or made advances. It was awhile before I even kissed her. Which is a hilarious story in itself. We get up and go to D.C. one night (she lived closer to there than Baltimore. So we have dinner at some Japenese place and shoot to Ozios for drinks (several drinks) and then back to her house. We chill for a while then I get up to leave and finally go ahead and give her a kiss. Now after all the waiting the sexual tension has built up...so I did not end up going home. This is the messed up part...we engage in vigorous "relations" and fall asleep. at like 3:30 in the morning I wake up and promptly hurl right next to the bed (not alot of substance to my meal I think it was some type of noodles, no bread or salt and several drinks the first being warm sake). The really messed up part is I rarely throw up and I always feel it at least 5 minutes in advance. I mean my hair is down my back and if I do throw up I'm already in the bathroom on my knees with hair tied back. She did not bitch, she did make fun of me but to her credit she did not bitch. To top it off she had two cats and I'm allergic so I felt very shitty the next morning. Anyway time goes on things are cool, I'm pumped cause she had a sex drive to match mine. This translates into I never rolled over or made suggestions to be denied. She participated as well. Some of ya'll know what I mean no just laying still as I do all the work. It was sex like we were both fighting to be in control of the situation. That's what I like. Plus the only reservations were ones we shared. I'll mention here that when someone is very "active" with me the sex is just better because that activity translates to interest and that turns me on. Basically if a woman invests her self she will be the biggest benefactor, plus I was never one of those "get mine" and go to sleep guys. It takes an extreme set of circumstances for the average guy to not enjoy sex so for purposes of my ego I always want to know that the woman enjoys...cause hell I know I will. Anyway, we're cool the sex is good, the world is right.

She ends up having to move so her and her mother (they live together - and I don't mean she lives with her mother from what I saw she was the one who paid more and had to keep things together) start looking for homes. She finds a place and her friend, friends boyfriend, me and my friend help her move from the county to the city - more than one trip.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT - on behalf of all people who help others move, pack your shit in the days before. Nothing is worse than people still packing on the day of.

This move sucks because they don't know the city so it's my responsiblity to get us to the house, how you rent a house and don't know how to get there is beyond me. Me, my friend and the boyfriend are all allergic to cats so we're all sneezing and wheezing. They have alot of shit. They have stuff that's sitting in rooms like "I wanted to get that reupholstered". NO. NO. NO. Thanks to us some things did not make it. I would feel bad but when you have to make two trips from D.C. to B-more with a large truck, the physical labor does not feel the same sentiments for that chair you always meant to fix. Soooooo...first off. They paid to much and didn't get enough for the place. I wish (even now) they had asked me to help them look. I guess they were used to D.C. prices and didn't realize the difference in two cities so close. Plus it wasn't a nice neighborhood. It just wasn't a "black" area which didn't make a difference, it was just a hood with mostly white folks and some latinos sprinkled throughout. While black people and white people may have some differences, I find low income neighborhoods have the same issues. The next door neighbor was crazy and almost got his ass whooped, three times that day. We found out he actually had done so much that the neighbors got together and he had two weeks before he had to leave the area. The good thing is the latino cats next door ended up helping and I had to buy them some beer for that, very cool. Move is over time passes. I'm coming to a close and I'm about to expose the pus of her soul, but to be fair here is mine.

1)She was coming over late one night and called to let me know, the bad thing is I was half sleep when she called and before I could get up to unlock the door at least, I fell asleep. I know, I know. I wanted to kick my own ass as soon as I woke up in the morning.

2) I don't think this counts but I'll use it to be fair. At one point in time she had to leave town twice. Both times she made the arrangments and basically let me know 2 days before she was leaving (the exact date) she didn't let me know any travel details involving getting to or from the airport. The second trip she calls me on sunday night at about 10:30 and says hey I'll be at the airport in 3 hours could you come pick me up. I don't, my logic being I have to go to work early, you could have asked me beforehand and don't wait till your almost at the end of the return trip late at night to ask me to drive to the airport to come and get you.

Her Pus:

1) She hated that I would never spend the night at her house. I live alone. She shares a space with her MOTHER. I am allergic to cats. She has TWO. I think that says enough.

2) She accused me of never introducing her to my friends. At my house she met my main man, my not so main man and another friend of mine helped her move (which took all day) when I recall She met more of my friend than I did of hers which I never cared about anyway.

3) She was never on time and then said you never take me anywhere. NO. The problem was I say let's go here. See you at 1:00. At 3:00 she would call and say she's running late (no shit!) causing us to miss whatever the event was.

4) I was to pick her up one day and take her to work. I call and say I'm on the way, 15 minutes later I'm out front and honk the horn. She get's pissed off because...she does not like when people honk the horn. What's the problem? She never told me that. Where I'm from, if you expect someone to come get you and they let you know they're coming, it's cool to honk the horn. If you don't like horn honking you don't bitch when you never mention you hate it. You ask the person to not do this in the future.

The last straw) She is supposed to come to my house one afternoon. Her mother, her and I shared a common...interest. An illegal one. She calls, normal hook up didn't come through can I provide. This is out of my buying rhythm so I have to search and I hate street purchases. I find, I call - she says her mother has had a bad day can I spend the night. I grudgingly agree. I come over and spend the night. The next day is my early day at work. So I have to bring shirt, pants, tie, and dress shoes. During the course of the night I say hey can I get a towel (can't remember why). "Oh, I need to wash I only have the towel I'm using (WHAT THE FUCK!). She never had to bring a towel to my house. No one does. If I invite (or ask/request/beg) you over all you need is clothes and deodorant. I can provide wash rags, towels and unused soap. I even keep a new toothbrush (still in the pack) just in case. How the hell do you invite me over and neglect to mention I need to bring a towel? So I wake up in the morning and wait to take a shower (and air dry). It's uncomfortable waiting for a bathroom especially when one of the people using it is the mother of someone you had sex with last night. So after it clears I go to take a shower and she says, " You can't, we're almost late." WHAT THE FUCK! I break and let her know there is no way in hell I'm stepping out of the house or off the second floor with out taking a shower. She wants to kirk out because there is one set of keys (which was stupid as well). I say look get the keys from your mother I'll drop you off, but whatever happens I'm taking a shower. She's pissed. I no longer care. Cleanliness is good kids. I drop her off at work and we have only spoken maybe three times since then.

I have in my possession a jacket, 3 books, 3 c.d.s and a pair of slippers. She (hopefully still) has 1 book, 1 c.d. and my "going out of state" bag. I have tried to exchange these things but she would never return calls or emails. She eventually says she was being immature, she'll come over that saturday. No such thing happens. This was during 2003. I still have her things cause my stupid conscience will bug me for tossing someones things. I've even seen her cause she works in the building where our tech support people are. And I only cling to hope because one of the C.D.'s was Sweetback. Sade's band featuring, Bahamadia, Maxwell, and Leroy Osbourne (the guy that backs up Sade). I really like that C.D.

One day I'll tell you about her job and how she has since (I suspect) used it to strike at me. Now go rest your eyes cause I know they hurt.

Dream 2

I feel bad about mentioning I had a dream and not going into detail...I still won't, but here's another tid-bit. I rarely remember dreams anymore. I used to have vivid, plentiful dreams. Beyond that I used to talk in my sleep, sleep walk and -I can't verify this but my mother wouldn't lie to me- I supposedly stood up in the bed flipped from one end to the other and laid back down. What I can verify is that sleepwalking sucks. Nothing messes with your head more than waking up in another room and not knowing how you got there. Especially when your family is used to it, so you wake up scared cry for help and someone yells back - boy get up and go back to bed. If you read the spirits post - in my reading I was told that harmful spirits are approaching me in my sleep and a reason why I seem like I never get rest is because I 'm basically fighting them off all night instead of just sleeping. In the last 3 or 4 years I can recall 20 dreams and 12 - 15 of them all involve vampires. I used to associate it with people I was dealing with in real life but after my recent one I'm not sure. I do like Anne Rice novels but I haven't been reading them when I have these dreams. I can't remember the last good dream I had and it would've taken place prior to 2000. I must state this again I have never felt so bad/guilty/horrible as I did after my dream the other night. It makes me apprehensive...like something is coming.



I had a dream last night that was so disgusting when I woke up I felt dirty. Has this ever happened to any of you? It was filled with sex, violence and just...horrible things. I have never felt bad about a dream. Not once, not ever. Just to let you know how bad it was, I will not recount it here. As a matter of fact there is only one person on earth that I will tell about this dream and I'll have to preface it then.

Sensitivity & Marvel Comics

I am sensitive. Not meaning that I can't take criticism or harsh words, I have been known to shed the occasional tear at the movies though. If you've ever seen the movie D.A.R.Y.L. about the boy with the micro-processor in his brain. Well at the end of the movie everyone thinks he died and his best friend and the family are mourning on their way out the door and Daryl comes running around the corner and my whole family would stare at me and wait for me to burst into tears. This is when I was younger than 10. My wit wasn't developed so I just had to yell for people to leave me alone. Well recently 2 movies have made me misty one being Antoine Fisher - which I have no problem with, especially because I don't know my father anything about not knowing family gets me. The other one is...Spiderman 2. It may sound...well I'm not sure how it sounds. I will note that I have a long history the Marvel comics characters. I must also testify that comics are not garbage. Most of the Marvel titles I read dealt with complex issues and were also some of the first times in life I had to go to the dictionary to look up words. Anyway, I'm watching Spiderman 2 and it comes to the scene where he saves the train, passes out and almost falls off. The people pick him up and lift him onto the train lay him out in the aisle. People are commenting like " he's a kid, no older than my son" then he wakes and two children bring his mask and say they won't tell anyone. Right here I start misting up. Now it was touching but I did not expect that type of reaction from myself. I have (especially since I moved out of my mothers house) identified with Spiderman. I mean this guy saves lives all day. He's even saved the entire city several times and people still manage to hate him. On the other hand he can't keep a job and is always late to class. He's late paying rent all the time. He worries about his elderly aunt and has had a crush on the same girl since childhood. Most of all the only job he can keep constantly runs front page headlines bashing the side of him that is purely good. I actually identify more with the broke aspects of Peter Parker. I could also admit that I misted up a little at X-men 2 when Jean Gray died, but I read X-men more and I also know what happens after that (death #1). Spidey rocks and I consider him the mascot for all broke college students, starving artists and other financially embarrassed people with potential. I did not think I would ever get emotional over him.


Spirits-"Warning - the close minded may not need to read this"

Perhaps some of you are familiar with Spiritual Readings. This is where you go to a "priest" basically (since it's not a catholic thing it's a different mode - priests in these faiths aren't people who wanted to take their life in that direction. In the process of a reading if you are capable of being a preist you are told). Basically a reading is where a priest contacts their head, or orisha or ruling spirit and basically relays information about you and occassionally they ask questions of you. You usually have to bring some sort of offering like I had to bring a liter of Gordon's Gin (I actually brought 2 fifths). One of the other things they mention are about your ancestors in particular. Just like this spirit is there also your connection with your actual ancestors because, like family, your ancestors want to help you out as much as they can. I have been familiar with the Yoruba beliefs for some time as is the Nana that did my reading, however she recently (along with my main man) was initiated into the Sangoma tradition. Readings are interesting. For one thing your dealing with spirits so they can tell you things that strike you to the core of your being because the nature let's you realize that this is real. The most significant thing said to me as that I sit in my house and think about so many things but I fail to take action and as I contemplate these things more and more my heart gets heavier and heavier. This is utter truth, I almost cried when it was said because (in my mind) I have given the same criticism of myself. A reading is deep, alot of things are said that verify the reality of it and then they bring out the "you need to list". Things about your personality, about how to deal with issues your facing and they even bring up things that you may not have ever thought about. Like for me they said I need to get up with my sister in San Antoino, Texas (half sister technically). They also expressed that I am to become a priest. Which means I have to quit smoking - a couple things, but anyway - They also mentioned how I loved the culture but didn't want to be the one in front because I fear that I won't know what to do. This was followed up with the fact that I would be a good priest because of my personality. They let me know that I have Mexican and even Aztec ancestors, I was already aware of the Native American but this was new. I have to mention that spirits can be funny, when they told me to put up a Mexican flag over my shrine to honor those ancestors they also mentioned that I was still black and not to forget who my mother is. See even ancestors are irked by those people who always want to be mixed with everything- yeah I'm talking to alot of you Blackplanet people. The most interesting piece of info wasn't told to me but kind of presented it self. The Nana who did my reading can possess spirits ( something my man can't do) . After my reading she performed another ritual where she possesed a spirit and the spirit basically addressed me and out of familiarity it addressed my man again - it actually mentioned things he did on New Years that I was there to witness. When the spirit spoke most of it was not in englsh save for the scattered word here and there. A few times it had to trace out a diagram to help convey the thought. The intersting thing was I got the main idea of basically all it tried to say. My man acted as an interpreter for most but after a moment I understood and his words became validation for what I believed. At one point during this second ritual I had something happen that lead my friend and the Nana to believe that I would be able to possess spirits. Alot of this would explain some things to me in regards to my sensitivity with certain things. For instance a client of mine who is no longer living once came in, he was in the midst of some turmoil and before he spoke or anything I could feel it coming off of him. I assume I am not the only person who can "feel" such things but I know that not everyone does. I'd have to emphasize this is less of an "I'm special" situation as much as it is a "I have new responsibilities situation. Well, I have work to do. For those that the title applied to but read anyway, feel free to think I'm crazy in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.


MVA - Hellhole, Inferno, other bad things.

I have been driving with expired tags since september. I didn't mean to but I had tickets to pay off before I could renew my sticker. (9:30am)Five Hundred and Thirty Six Dollars ($536.00, 56,156.33 yen, 23,415.16 rupees ). This is what I had to give to the city. I won't go into the length of the line at the municipal building. I will mention that they only take certified checks or cash so I had to wait to find out how much I owed then go to the bank get the cash come back wait in the long line, pay my fees and return to the first line to get removed from the boot list. Then I had to come back to work drop off my bosses keys and then go to the MVA, which did I mention has long lines. So after waiting in line with all my documents (including those absolving me of the Red Flag in the system) I attempt to get my stickers. Guess what, "baby you still flagged for a red light ticket." Soooo....after a forty-nine (49) minute wait on hold I get the city to send another release absolving me of the last ticket. It took another 20 minutes before this fax arrived. So I finally get this and wait another 20 minutes for the bus (wasn't chancing getting pulled over again). I finally get home and put on the sticker only to head back to work (at 4:15pm). Would you like to guess if I stayed until 7:00 for my late night? The MVA sucks. I forgot to mention that because I had unresolved tickets, when I paid for the stickers another $128.00 I also had to pay a $30 "restoration fee". Damn the MVA straight to hell.


New Years?!?!?!

First of all you can't prove anything. If you were there then you probably had a bit to drink as well. I mean, it was new years. Everyone was in the spirit, every one had spirits in them. I was only really dancing. Where's the harm in that. The tragedy for me is I never get so drunk that I can't remember. For me I lose more inhibitions from dancing than drinking. It makes me feel lose. The good thing is, I was amongst friends and I woke up alone. There's no apologies that need to be made. My most nerve racking moment was before any party started and I got pulled over because of expired tags (whoops!). "Officer I really didn't think about it, yes I have been ticketed...I have other tickets I have to pay off before I can renew my tags. " Everyone seems like they're pointing fingers at you when your pulled over. It's like coming to the front of the class. Luckily I got off with a warning. Next bad thing. My man sicced some big girl on me. Not actually but he used me as a decoy when she asked to hit his Black and Mild and he dipped. The rest of the night her attention was on me. This girl plopped her big ass down in my lap twice! As a kindly explained my song was playing and moved on I realized that I was going to be nice to her because I didn't want to get out on anyone after I'd been drinking. So I danced by myself. Danced with another girl I know. THEN...I danced with I woman I'm familiar with but didn't really know. We got somewhat familiar on the dance floor. Something I don't usually do. I usually set it off on my own and dance by myself. If there are any stories currently floating around about me...they all involve her. I know where my hands were and I also know where her hands were. I honestly just let go. I never do that. But I did. OH BOY did I. She knows friends of mine too. She also remembers me and my friends from back in the day. I just wonder will she be cool or embarassed when I see her next. Cast the first stone you blasphemor. I'm not sure if I feel bad or not. I mean we were both consenting adults. She's older than me anyway. My main thought is that the action itself wasn't so bad. It was just very public. Oh well, if I do end up feeling bad that will be my bad thing for the year and it will be out of the way.


Post Traumatic New Years

I'm taking somewhat of a day off. Blogs shall continue and I will share my 6 hour trials of today my lack of inhibitions from New Years (what was I thinking?!?!) and the continuation of my retrospective. Unitl then I'm going home to lay down. If you want a preview...Damn the MVA straight to hell. Until then...