Mediocrity...The New Dope

"me·di·oc·ri·ty - 1 a : the quality or state of being mediocre b : moderate ability or value
2 : a mediocre person"

I caught up with my man Abdul this past weekend (I gotta remember to post a pic of the t-shirt he had on) and as we discussed why so many things that suck are popular, He coined the phrase for me..."Mediocrity is the new dope." I see it in everything. For instance I like Kanye...but, he is just a marginal lyricist...his ability to bring a song together is great. However, he is still (in terms of the mainstream) one of the best out right now. I see it all over the place. Mediocrity...In Government - and if I hear one more person say that Bush is a great leader I'm going to suplex them off a national monument. Nothing this man has done is great, good, or even o.k. he has generally sucked...it's his modus operandi. To think most people voted for him because they thought "he would protect the country". If I thought the president was going to "protect us" I would vote for a mob boss...they can get things done. Maybe that can be Mike Tyson's new job, we'll send him to settle all beefs and if the treaty isn't signed we give him a liter of gin and 3 redbulls and tell him they said he was a punk. If I walked into a bar fight I wouldn't want Bush to be the one that had my back...to borrow a quote, "I'd rather be turked by a syphillitic bear." Even in our displeasure with people like Bush we have fallen to mediocrity. Demonstrations were good a few decades ago, especially when people would go somewhere they weren't allowed and protest. Now I think we're desensitized to it like violence on T.V. How about a new form of protest like putting a burner on Air Force One or taking a dump on the White House lawn...I don't know something different. The point was these protests used to shock people, now they just divert traffic...a little. Even in schools I remember when they lowered the passing grade to 60-69 and mad people ended up with 50's on their report cards. This country needs an enema of some sort. My favorite advocate of mediocrity is the term "hatin". I can't even say I don't like something much less that it sucks ass with out someone calling me a hater. One of the few emcees I still like said, "If I don't like, I don't like it that don't mean that I'm hating." I mean damn, let me get this straight...nothing sucks? Is this what I'm hearing. Everything can't be good. That's like those self-esteem building teachers that say "you're all winners." Bullshit, I grew up with a lot of losers and they held form throughout life. Explain them, unless we give out prizes for who can suck the most they aren't winners. Let's dispel some myths...we are not all winners, all children are not cute (and some of them are stupid) and Bush is not a great leader. What's another one...Pregnant women are not sexy...a pregnant woman my be beautiful but, it's not sexy. Let's get our terms together: Sexy - 1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating : EROTIC 2 : generally attractive or interesting : APPEALING. I would not ascribe this trait to a pregnant woman. Matter of fact I'm disgusted with those who do. When I see a pregnant woman I don't want to have sex with her! What the hell is being promoted here! She looked sexy a few months ago thus facilitating her current status. It's this type of make sure everyone feels good type of crap that kills me. Like anyone who says something has to come out and apologize to anyone who might decide they were offended by it. Like Kellen Winslow II apologized for saying he's a soldier. We have become a pussified nation and it's pissing me off. You can't even use metaphors anymore! I have made up my mind to become famous just so I can say things and not apologize. We love to bring up freedom of speech until someone says something we don't like. I hope the country is happy with this mediocre limbo that we are stuck in. Things like this will drive me to world domination just so I can enjoy myself again. I'm about to espouse a new form of P.C. - personal choice. I've made this decision and I don't care what you think, offended...tough noogies. Along with the freedom of speech you have the freedom to feel how you want, use it and leave other people the hell alone. I have to apologize for how I feel now? I would never ask that of someone. Don't feel bad that you offended me...thanks for letting me know where you stand on things.


"It's a five O'clock world when the whistle blows and no one owns a piece of my time.."
The Vogues

I am officially burned out. The realization came not when I was late three days in a row and didn't care. The realization didn't hit when I figured that I put more effort into my blog than my job. I understood this when I began to miss an old job. When I was with child support my job was so mundane and repetitive that I could wear headphones all day while doing it. I almost didn't have to talk to anyone. This job did not require thought, I would just do. Now I have to talk to people, hunt people down and so forth. It's one thing to hunt someone down...it's another when I'm tracking you down to convice you to go to an interview or to get your GED. I need a personality stipend. I'll just hang around and be cool and at the end of the week I'll get a check. Bonuses for wearing a snazzy outfit or giving some good advice about something. I want to go back to school so I can do something else but the fact remains that I'd still have to work. While I don't live lavish I can't take any type of downgrade in pay...it goes against my principles. At the moment though 5 o'clock just looks so good. I get excited at 4:00. I've had a variation of this feeling but, it was cause I was going to see my girl or I was going out. Now I get excited to be leaving the office in general. The decrease in staff has not been good for me at all. Now we have to leave our building and move into our parent center that deals with adults which will not be good at all. They might as well have sucked the atmosphere out of this building and let us suffocate. Large difference in working with Youth and Adults and the two vibes don't mix well. I WANT OUT. I have considered that I don't know enough spanish to sell my things and move to Mexico. A friend also pointed out that I'd have to learn portugese to move to Brazil and become a lounge singer. Finally the whole Sade/arm candy thing hasn't come through yet either. This is the longest I've kept a job (4 years) and working for alot of stupid people doesn't help. I do a hard job that doesn't pay enough and it sucks. Not just cause I don't make enough but, because people in positions like mine don't in general. It's a constant reminder of where the priorities of the world lie (more importantly where they don't). Living on a farm seems like a viable option right now. I'll get up early, do physical work and sit on the porch in the afternoon drinking beer...of course I'd have less chances to wear my cuff links. I could go to harvest dances and have actual rolls in the hay! This farm shit is starting to sound alright. I could swim in a pond and go "into town" when I need stuff. I could sneak into the neighboring farms and get it on with farmer's daughters (does anyone know where there are alot of black farmers, indian even?) Anyway...I feel like the guy from Office Space more and more. Humph, that sounds appealing cause right now I can't take a bat to the fax machine...lousy piece of crap.


There's no crying in Football!

"Rookie defensive tackle Manny Wright leaves the field in tears after being yelled at by coach Nick Saban."

Come on...come the hell on. Yo I thought I was going to die when I saw this wednesday! I kept hearing Tom Hanks in my mind..."There's no crying in Baseball!" This guy had better become a hell of a football player. You can't be remembered as the guy who was crying at training camp. I mean Ricky Williams has been getting negative press galore, Jason Taylor even dressed up like him on Halloween and I don't see Ricky crying. Coaches yell son, that's what they do. How in the hell he proposes to live this down is beyond me. I will say that after I finished laughing I felt a little sorry for dude...a little. What can I say I had a bad day yesterday. Plus I was just thinking no one is going to run over and hug dude. There is no consolation. Especially when it's on the net, ESPN and every sports show in the nation. To quote Souls of Mischief..."What a way to go out, out like a sucka!" Plus you're on defense...What would Ray Lewis say? The last time I cried someone died...how the hell do you cry on a field full of grown ass men...grown ass men that may be trying to hit you later?!?!? Now this guy is young..21 but at 21 you weren't going to catch me somewhere crying. Even if my mother yelled at me, which by then she wasn't, I wouldn't be crying. Hell at 16 I would have died of shame to cry cause I got yelled at. I can only imagine what dude will have to go through if he makes this team.

My Corrupt Education

"I showed up early everyday...to gather my friends and cut the hell out."

I was doing image searches on google and I came across this pic of my high school. It's funny, but I thought how you really can't see how much it looks like a jail in this picture...or even how big it really is. I'm tripping off the fact that it's actually got a listing in Wikipedia...and how they mention the rumor that it's sinking! People who graduated from other schools always try to rip on us about that. Wikipedia (or whoever posted this) is wrong about the fire...it happened in 95-96. I remember cause we had a week off after a big blizzard then the school caught fire the weekend before we would have returned, when I found out...I rolled over and went back to sleep. There were several parts of the building that were never in usage...except by enterprising students with illegal activities in mind. That sign is the place where I used to gather up my fellow cutters in the morning. Optimal smoking places were the train tracks to the south, Clifton Park, the depths of the gym, the bleachers, the music room...let's say there was no lack of opportunity. Actually Lake presented no lack of opportunity to do anything cruddy. I always talk with my man about how all the worst things I ever saw happened at that school. I saw a dude get his ass whopped at that sign and as soon as he managed to stand up security came and threw him in a sleeper hold.

I have seen more good fights (one on ones), bankings, beatdowns and rumbles here than at any time in my life. I remember the word would go out across the school to let you know which end of St. Lo Drive the fights would take place at, however some things were worse (or more entertaining) than a fight:

  • Slam Contest - This comes to us courtesy of the thugs who hung out on Harford Rd. and The Alameda. Basically these cats pick out a small guy (most likely a freshman) and see who can pick him up and slam him on the ground the hardest. The messed up part is it would become more about the contest than about trying hurt the person (though the prior facilitated the latter). Dudes would even have do-overs saying, "Nah yo, I know I can do better than that."
  • Dead Birds - I don't know who started this, but one day someone put a dead bird on one of the bridges then people started trying to top them. Let's just say it sucks to cross the bridge and have to avoid 5 dead birds...the only thing worse than that was when they put a dead dog on one of the heaters...my savage ass peers.
  • Snatch and Grab - An invention during my senior year this involved a boy/girl duo who would go around targeting cats. The guy would sneak up and throw him in the sleeper-hold then the girl would hit his pockets. The unlucky victim gets slammed to the ground without a cent to his name. I saw this happen once and it was not pretty especially cause the victim thought it was a friend playing around at first.
  • Sex in the Corner - I had some freaky classmates. Let's just say there were alot of staircases and on the lowest levels there was an area you could go behind the steps. I know a few people who have claimed to use this area for a mid-day quickee. I know for a FACT that lot's of people got suspended for being caught doing it. The Cand D stairs were the favorite spots.
  • Disrespecting a Senator - Nathaniel McFadden used to work at our school. I knew he was involved in politics when I was a freshman and we thought he probably demanded respect...WRONG. The seniors let us know as everytime he walked down the hall you would hear chants of "Mr.McFaggy!". They did him worse than Rodney Dangerfield.
  • Freshman vs. Senior - Everyone thinks that their class is the best/toughest or whatever. Our class was out to prove it. Seniors used to love coming by a classroom and yelling stuff like, "Freshmeat" or "Damn it smells fresh in here". My classmates responded with such things as, "Suck my Dick", "Fuck you whore"...I think you get the message. Suffice it to say my freshman year there were a lot of fights and most of them were between seniors and freshmen.
  • Blackeye for Teacher - I actually know the cat who started this trend. My man Eggy from around 20th street got into it with a teacher and basically popped him. After this about 5 teachers ended up with blackeyes...I swear at my school things would happen and people would just be like..."Oh you can do that, word!"
  • Hair Removal- I'm sure this happened in plenty places...girls get into a fight and any fake hair is summarily snatched out and cast aside. I remember one time in particular as we were walking down St. Lo one girl seemed to be moving a little too fast then when noticed the crowd behind her picking up speed. Shorty breaks and the crowd gives chase. She even get's to her porch but when she knocks no one opens the door. About 15 girls descend on her and give her the ass-whopping of a lifetime. They then leave with people twirling her tracks in the air like trophies. The really messed up part is, after she has had her ass removed and handed back to her someone comes and opens the door for her. I kept thinking whoever showed up late to open the door might have caught the wrath of my beat down. You couldn't grab a frying pan or something and help me out!

Despite all of these things it's sad to think that my High School is worse now than it was then. Save the children.


A hit, a palpable hit...or tag

"The suspect is dangerous when confronted with American Beer."

R.P.M. tagged me...I'm not sure if I'm being tracked but, just in case I'll follow orders...

Ten years ago: I was somewhere smoking a blunt and anticipating my senior year of high school, perfecting my tag, rhyming and spouting revolutionary slogans...and buying camoflauge gear, it was cool at the time! Oh yeah...my bike was my main means of transpo so I was more cut then.

Five years ago: I was working with elementary school children and the biggest stress of my day was when someone started crying during dodgeball. Of course, they'd be mad if I didn't play the next day. I had a cell phone that I hated but gave me the best service out of any I'd ever have again. I was going out about 3-4 times a week during the week. Which is why I can't go out all the time now. I also was having relations with women I may deny now...for personality reasons.

One year ago: My wing man was in South Africa and I was had no one to joke with. I didn't know if I would still have this job (funding issues) and I had just got my car back after that "girl" hit me in the drivers side...luckily my cool lean saved me from injury.

Yesterday: I was coming down off my Artscape high...work sucks! Plus I was searching for a good picture of Rudy from Fat Albert...somethings should just be there...y'know.

Today: I pimped myself out to get a speaker for my job. I was the "elected driver" to take staff to a meeting...so since I prefer the breeze I didn't turn on the air conditioning...HA! I also started searching for the new version of the expense report, I want my money back.

Tomorrow: I'll still be rounding up folks for this gifting joint...it's not a scam! Plus I'll be trying to make sure my boss stays in her office so I can complete my blog rounds.

5 snacks I enjoy: Pico De Gallo chips...when I can find them, Ginger Snaps, Things you can dip in Guacamole, Carribean Ice (for real), and Coffee (trust me).

5 bands that I know the lyrics of most of their songs: Sade/Sweetback, Incubus, BlackStar, Alien Ant Farm, and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five/Melle-Mel.

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Purchase home, property (private), bar, club, hall, properties (group home), 69' Mustang (convertible black, chrome trim and pedals, mag wheels), tailored wardrobe, all equipment required for music (I'm talking pressing records here kids!), Trust funds for future children, give my mama something and let her get the house of her choice.

5 locations I’d like to runaway to: Amsterdam, Brazil, London, Trinidad and Africa.

5 bad habits I have: My friendship with Nick (otine), procrastination, thinking everyone will do what they said, writing on my pants (I hate that), and oversleeping.

5 things I like doing: Blogging, Performing, Speeding, linking with old friends, and missing work.

5 things I would never wear: That 50 cent Tank Top, Rayon, tight pants, Non-Adidas tennis, and Slingshots.

5 TV shows I like: South Park, The Daily Show, Seinfeld ("You'll never meet someone who likes Seinfeld and Wu-Tang!"), Pardon the Interruption, and Real Time w/Bill Maher.

5 movies I like: Love Actually, Hero, City of God, Star Wars Episode III (I have the upper ground), and Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

5 famous people I’d like to meet: Sarita Choudry (to disscuss our future), Bill Maher, Jay Z (to discuss business), Sade (to apply to be her arm candy), and G.W. Bush sans Secret Service.

5 biggest joys at the moment: Flirting, Blogging, Having a full tank of gas, traveling, the 5:00 world.
5 favorite toys: My imagination, a Microphone, Xbox, a 'puter, and an executive directors nerves.

5 people to tag: Luke Cage, Beloved, The Keeper of Jello, Goldie (in hopes that she'll post soon), and Jdid.


Best Bop

"I walk with a bop that make the cops shine flashlights..."
Tash of "The Alkaholiks"

When I say bop I'm not talking about the Hanson song...

It has been said that my bop is so strong that from blocks away you can tell it's me. The average person expects me to be wearing headphones when I'm walking. I used to tell people one leg is longer than the other or it's the soul trying to break out of me. Best of all it's not premeditated...it just natural at any speed. So I thought I'd dedicate some time to other people who have a viscious bop. I automatically think about Fat Albert's gang who had a mean collective bop. The best one of all though was....

Rudy - This cat not only had his bop working on the low end but, he had the head action to go along with it. I remember we used practice Rudy's bop like it would save our lives one day. His bop spoke a little of his arrogance but, it was still fly. I remember how is head used to go down and come back up...I didn't even think about his arm motions his head was going so hard.

Fly Guy - Now, a small portion of his bop may have been inspired by the platforms but, that slow drag was all him. You know what I mean...foot down pause...next foot forward. Throwing glances from side to side. A cane may accentuate your bop but it also requires you to maintain a certain level of flyness...similar to me.

Shaggy - Some people may disagree but, I think this cat from Scooby Doo had a cool bop. This cat looked like a breeze was blowing at him all the time. I can't identify if Scooby has one cause of the four legs, but I'm watching him. Shaggy has the traditional laid back bop going on. He's cool just not pressed about it.

For the uneducated, some important thoughts on bopping...
It has to be natural, an artificial bop is worse than a stiff walk. It should be able to convert into a dance almost. An effortless set of motions that produce their own beat. I remember in High school me and my man Ike said a girl had a real butt if it kept time to the Fat Albert beat. A bop is kind of like that. Even if you increase speed it looks like it can flow to music. I swear that bopping makes walking anywhere more fun than it would be. It's confidence inspiring even. (Pardon the snagglepuss there)

Any memorable bops you can think of?



"How many of us have them?"

Another Artscape in the books and all is right with the world. Well, I'm still not the undisputed leader but, I can let that go...for today. This was easily one of the best times I've had at Artscape in years. I saw several people I haven't seen in years and easily put about 30 numbers in my phone. We had this discussion for two nights about how these are the times that you are a part of something yet you don't think about it until it's over. I wish I didn't have to be at work to day, but the weekend I had was good enough to carry me for a while. So...


  • Not sweating the Q-tip show then finding out it was the entire Tribe halfway through and still getting to the front row at a crowded show...see I told ya'll last time I know how to get up to the front. Dope show...I was just in the crowd and I almost lost my voice.
  • Seeing everybody...though this is the first year I didn't see my cousin I caught up with a lot of other cats.
  • Carribean Ice...If they tell me there's crack in this I'll accept it and order another one.
  • Not getting home until early in the morning a few nights in a row...you know something is good when you just have to hang around for a few more hours.
  • Mad invites to clubs and parties...loving it.
  • Hand dancing with Melani while Craig Alston (supastar) conducted the Eubie Blake Legacy Band.
  • Huge cups of lemonade.
  • Finding out there is a dope spot on Charles st. next to Jay's and Orioles (I need to get out more).
  • Biz Markie on the 1 and 2's!
  • Breakers
  • Freestyling at 1:00 in the morning with around brothers and sisters who are the age I was when I started this.
  • Mad pounds and Hugs.
  • Lovely Women.
  • Running into Curtis who does the dope T-Shirts www.substanceone.com check him out. I gotta get another elevate joint.
  • Mad people on a peace vibe.
  • Chilling with Old school Bmore heads and Live D.C. cats...it's all good and until the Ravens play the Redskins.
  • Sundresses....ahhhhhhh.
  • Hooking up on the production tip...I may complete an album through the cats I saw this weekend.
  • Realizing what I'm part of while it's still going on.


  • Mayor O'Malley butchering "Time of your Life" my favorite Green Day song.


The Weekend

"Once again to relieve me of my boredom and some cash..."

Every year at the end of July I look forward to the best event Baltimore has to offer...hands down. Live performances (national and local), vendors, art exhibits, women, and every single person I know in the city. Artscape. I have never missed artscape. No matter where I lived or what was going on. Even when I've had to leave town for conferences it seems like I get back by the first day. This is lovely for several reasons. First of all it's all inclusive so whoever the person is they can enjoy themselves. Second, it's surely the largest event we have here. Third, there are usually good performances (last I year was the first time I got to see De La Soul Live plus they had Dres from Black Sheep and they brough a Hip-Hop Pioneer (I don't want to name him cause of the following) out on stage...later I found out that Pioneer had been selling weed on the east side of town for a while which kind of messed with me). Fifth, Microbrews...now we know that I'm some what of a snob on the beer tip. Since this is a large event and I won't be harassed for drinking a beer outside, a microbrew will do in this case. Most of all...I will literally see just about everyone I know at Artscape. Friends, family, people I don't like, and women I should know. While I don't think that there will be as many great performances as in past years, there's still Vivan Green and some sista I want to check out named Danielia Cotton. However, I do not require the performances (even though I know how to get to the front of the stage at will. All I need is the scene. Truth be told we often have to employ the running back technique to get through the crowd - Biggest man in front like a line man, followed up by the full back and the last man is the ball carrier. There is always something worthwhile to purchase or just stand around and look at. If you have to go to an event in Baltimore, Artscape is the one. Unfortunatley, despite the fact that they were supposed to have broken up...Mayor O'Malley's PUNK ASS BAND will be playing again this year. Taking a show from a band that could use the time. Go pass a law or something!!!! Three days of sunshine and music to make me feel like every weekend should be 5 days long...damn work on monday.


Reverse Racism

"You have shown me a whole new way."

I have a new favorite movie. If you can't tell from the pic it's Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Is this the most hilarious movie ever....no. Am I amazed at how side splittingly funny it is...no. Do I laugh...yes.

I'm sure you are wondering, what the hell is the big deal? Why is this my current favorite movie. As I assumed from it's release it's a basic "friends a on mission have wacky things ensue" type of flick. This is the reason I have only just seen it. What I did not notice was the total saturation of ethnic groups and the sterotyping of...white people. I've seen several movies where one or more groups of people are sterotyped, but never have I seen one where the "majority" is the sterotype and a wide spectrum of minorities is represented.

Main characters: A Korean and an Indian guy.

Love interest: A latina.

Other memorable characters: Jewish stoners, Two educated black men, a host of Asians and Indians.

Sterotypical Characters:

White racist cops over excited about performing their duty (especially inreference to black men.

Young white extreme sports nuts and all around jerks.

Neil Patrick Harris - Hollywood actor under influence of drugs who kirks out.

Young white executives partying and leaving their work for the responsible employee.

Young white stoner hippie...need I say more.

Now I would be remiss to mention that Anthony Anderson does play a sterotypical role, but it's not because of race. He is the apathetic fast food worker, gladly willing to tell you not to patronize his place of employment while harboring desires to burn the fucker down. I can't find fault with this because of my dishwashing days. BTW - do NOT eat the rolls at Old Country Buffet! Besides, every person I have known who worked at a fast food place would either tell me don't eat there or give me guidelines for doing so.

I also love how the sterotypical roles of just about all the ethnic groups involved were brought up at one point or another during the film. I can't say this is the best movie of any genre but I am growing to love it. Besides I love to see a film where the main characters are minorities anyway. So enjoy this film via my issues with casting and have a fine time with a retort to all the indian convience store workers, thickly accented asians, ignorant black people, and oy gevaulting jews normally seen in movies.


Dreams to Remember

"Nobody knows what I feel inside, all I know was I walked away and cried..."
Otis Redding

First I'll try not be too amused that I had a dream the feelings of which make me think about this song by Mr. Redding. I always did love that song. It's one of the consumate damn that hurts, but I gotta go on anyway.

I dreamt about the person that made me feel like that last night. It appeals to my sick sense of humor that she is the woman who I never was with. I think "unrequited love" is one of the worse feelings. You can't say you squandered the situation cause it was something that was only on the brink of happening. The other thing is in a way it's harder to resolve as that sense of "what if?" tends to linger a little longer.

I was inside of a building on St. Paul in the midst of some sort of preparations, I do remember it was a good day. I felt like I was in living at the time and that things were on my horizon. I was wearing one of my favorite sweaters and the winter vest I love to rock cause of how the colors accent each other. I'm a sucker for earth tones. Then I started to get hot so I took off my sweater and threw my vest back on. It was cold outside and my arms were bare, but I didn't feel it, when the wind blew I just ignored it. Then I saw her pull up in her car. I was trying to be cool and time my walk so that I could meet her and not seem like I was sitting and waiting. She looked beautiful. She hugged me without a second thought and it felt good. I remembered the ease with which they used to come and I started to feel cold. As we went caught up with each other I put my sweater back on...all of the sudden it seemed silly to have taken it off. Then she dropped the unexpected on me. "I got married last night." I didn't know what to say, at all. I tried to congratulate her, but I couldn't. I wanted to ask about him but that's not what I wanted to know. I was at a loss for words. She asked me what if something happens down the road, what if they break up. I got choked up as I told her that I things like that seem to have been the problem. There was always something in the way. We ran hot and cold and I was never sure where I stood. How could I invest myself in something I'm unsure of. I was getting upset that I was so sad. I even felt on the verge of tears and that pissed me off more. I said I can't live for that tomorrow when this is what has happened today. I pulled her close to me so she couldn't see the sadness in my face. I said you know I always wanted you and I always cared, but how can I exist in such a state? What kind of man would I be? I do care but I can't sit and wait on a what if. The she pulled away from me, looked me in my eyes and said,"Well, my bop will be harder than yours." I got a little mad and I thought to myself, my bop is pretty damn cool and people know that.


Rules of Beef

I once expressed my desire to have beef be expressed like in The Warriors...my wish has not come true..

The CityPaper has a new feature called Murder Ink. Basically they give a brief review of all the murders that have occurred over the last week. In the last 5 weeks I've known people (clients) who have been included in the tally. Tomorrow I will pick up the paper and read about a brother I know personally. It's not just messed up that he's dead but the whole circumstance is coming into one of those cycles.

Basically dude A is sitting in his house with his girl...Crew 1 walks in makes him strip, pistol whips him and robs the place. Dude A...runs out jumps on his dirtbike (still naked) and chases them down. He hits one with the bike and paralyzes him. He is now in jail with an attempted murder charge.

The young brother I know (father of two), runs across the remnants of Crew A and basically challenges them, tells them they're punks and he'll beat all of their asses right there. Crew A backs down and leaves. Later that night the young man is coming out of his house and Crew A shows up to solve the situation via gunplay. My man loses his life. We are called up, as in the past to speak to his younger brother about not going for vengance. It appears that another member of Crew A has already been killed. A conversation too late.

Now another member of my man's crew has been killed as well.

As simple as it sounds if things could be like the Warriors or The Outsiders where we see each other set the terms and then fight it out and when it's over we get up and leave.


The Uninvited

"What's the opposite of the Welcome Back Kotter Song?"

For those who have read my blog for a moment you may know that I have people living with me one of them (my cousin is cool). She's not there alot and she always kicks out cash towards the house the other is a different story. As the ING account grows and I plot my escape, here are some reasons why dude sucks.

  1. Gimme da loot - He's slow on the cash tip. I'm sure everyone understands this but of course it ties into several of the following reasons.
  2. Anti-Gremlin - Dude needs lights. This is the anithesis to my existance. I HATE false light. What's worse is he leaves and I notice that he has left lights on. For me this is doubly worse. Something I hate in constant use and costing me money (see #1). That deserves a gut-shot.
  3. Stupid comments - Think of it this way I have been around cable for the past at least 8 years (with one breif break). I really don't need constant updates on what is on television. Especially when EVERYTHING he tries to tell me about is something I have seen or actually own. Plus they have this thing called the Guide which allows me to see what will be on for two days in advance. Stop telling me what's on.
  4. Bad Phrases - Young'n, Nephew, Son Son...when you haven't kicked out any money to the house you live in these are not ways you should address the main stock holder (me). Yes that is a look of contempt I'm giving you. I'm about to "son" dude until...(see #1)
  5. Get Yours - The fact that I have expressed my desire to have my food and beverages seemed to sink in. Expect for the fact that my water mysteriously doesn't last as long. It's getting beyond the realm of polite notices.
  6. Stupid Questions - I leave some clothes in the dryer and we have a operating theory that if someones clothes are in the dryer and you need to use it put them into the empty basket. I go downstairs grab my clothes out of the basket. As I'm going upstairs he asks, "Did you get your clothes out of that basket?" No I left them there...I actually have a spindle and a sewing machine hidden downstairs I used them to make these. I don't like stupid questions.
  7. Air Conditioning - This is an old house so there are window units. Perhaps it's just a crazy quirk but I don't like leaving them running if no one is there. Even in my room, when I leave it goes off. I'd rather be warm for the 5 minutes it takes to cool down the room than pay for it cooling an empty one all day. I am Jack's seething temper when I walk into the empty room to find it left on.(see #1)
  8. Patronizing comments - I rock some collection of 60's music. "What you know about that." I was reading the Portrait of Dorian Gray. "I didn't think you'd be reading that." For some reason he has assumed I'm an ignorant person - despite the fact that he does not know me. Perhaps he didn't notice all the Classic Literature and Indie Films or the Barry White Boxed set, or the entire Sade Catalog. Hell I owned the Lord of the Rings in book form before the movies were thought of!
  9. Noises - This is a repeat, but damn. Hacking, coughing, yawning - and I don't mean I'm sitting next to him. I'm upstairs in my room door closed and it sounds like he's outside of the door directing the noises. Damn...sound like sick ward up in this mug.
  10. Tone of Voice - I mentioned once that two grown men shouldn't live together and here's an example why. It doesn't matter what is being said it should all be said in a questioning tone. Any comment that sounds like I'm being told what to do will not be received well. Doesn't matter. Ask don't tell. If I feel like I'm being "told" whatever it is won't happen. I'll walk away laughing and as emasculating as that may seem it would be worse if I stand there and address you. Take all of the bass out of your voice, matter of fact any tone that doesn't sound like a gentle question or a comment from Mickey Mouse will be met with a loud annoyed (and almost threatening - "What?!?!?")

So boys and girls as I continue feeding the ING account and search through the tax lein homes and government auctions. I keep telling myself that if I lose it and steal on dude I'll probably hurt him...I mean he's almost 50 (half the reason I'm pissed by all of the above). Besides no matter if he deserves it I know that me looming over an over the hill guy who I just popped will not make me feel better. Cussing him out might, but any response to that besides humility will result in the aforementioned "looming". I need to learn a peaceful chant...or just black out and thus not be liable in court for my actions.


The Line up

Since Christopher Williams and Al B. Sure...the light skinned man has not been in, at least that's what I'm told. I was one of the cat's when people started saying, "The Blacker the Berry the Sweeter the Juice", I was in the back mumbling "My juice sweet too." That being said, every cat that achieves some fame who is not darkskinned and has locks is the person I am compared to at the moment. Here is the line-up of famous (to one degree or another)people I am contstantly told I remind people of.

Damien Marley
This is just the representative, to the general populace I have at one time or another been compared to whatever son of Bob Marley people could name. Hell when I was in Mexico they were calling me Bob Marley. Years compared: 1997 - Present

John Forte
While I didn't mind this comparison as much (his verse on "Cowboys" was sweet)....his solo album not so much. Years compared: 1997 to 2001

Lil' Jon
So this one is the most recent comparison, enhanced by the fact that I wear my shades alot but I never really thought about it until...

One evening upon returning from a festival in D.C. it's almost 2 in the morning and have ended the last day of a seven day bath (Akan ritual). Suffice it to say there's some fasting involved during the seven days and even when you can eat you can't have sugar or salt and that cut's out alot of things. When I did eat I basially had unsalted peanuts, eggs and oranges. So this was the last day and I can now eat. I'm riding from the eastside to my house on the west and because of the time nothing is really open. So while passing Loyola I realize there's a Royal Farms a block down and they have...some kind of "food". I stop in and as I walk to the back to get something to drink I hear someone say, "Yeah!" I thought it was unusual but I was hungry and thirsty so I keep moving. As I'm looking through the beverages I hear, "What?!". I don't know if Lil' Jon and Dave Chappelle were wiped totally from my mind or something but it just didn't register with me. I mean I hadn't really had any food in a couple of days give me a break. So every few minutes I hear one or the other, "What?!, Yeah!". Finally I order my (crappy) fried chicken and move to the checkout when another "Yeah!" comes from the backround. Just then I look down at the reflective glass infront of me and it hit's me...Lil' Jon. They think I look like Lil' Jon. I almost snapped to a degree cause I hate that instant lightskinned-locks association, but plus cause I mean hell I looked like this before he ever came out. I actually went through a whole debate about the situation in my mind as I grilled down one of the offenders. Years compared: 2004 - Present.

At work, in the streets, I'm destined to be compared to X-lightskinned-dude-with-locks. The worst part of all is I look at these dudes and I don't think I look like any of them...at all...in the least.


Breaking In

"Disturbing the Peace...and Rocking the hell out...Rites of Passage"

I was inspired by this post from Humanity Critic. I have never been thrown out of spots, but me and my friends have forced our way into a few.

Just for some backround, the pic above is of the main 5 members of our group. We easily had 20 different people who have been involved but these were there from the start til the last show. At the time all of us were not 21 or even 18. In fact one of the most vicious cats (not pictured) was like 14 or 15 when we first got together. Beyond lyrics our strongest attribute was the energy that we brought to our performances. We brought it up like Ray Lewis before a game and never came down until we went to sleep that night. So here we have the combination of good shows and younger people which did present a conflict of interest for club owners.

There was a group of brothers doing poetry called Sons of Robeson. A good group of brothers in all and one night one of them invited us to come down to this spot called J.R.'s to get on the open mic. We arrive and as we would experience several more times all of us could not get in. Three people were under 18 and one wasn't even 16. So at the front door we were denied. We keep trying to explain that we were invited. NO DEAL. Our thought is we were invited and that means ALL of us. We come together and say do we want to go home or break out. We want to stay. So my man breaks out the djembe and starts beating out a rhythm. All 20 of us start chanting, "We was invited, your authority we'll fight it, we was invited, your authority we'll fight it!" The doorman is looking like he doesn't know what the hell to do. I don't think many doorman had to face a circumstance of this nature. Eventually another cat comes out and they talk out the situation. We are going to be let in. Now comes the issue of the cover charge. We never paid full price per person. We would always work out a group rate on the spot (we were young, broke and intelligent). So group rate taken care of we enter and watch some people perform. When our time comes to rock we do just that. Energy is up and we are so pumped on the second floor that the glasses behind the bar downstairs are shaking. We killed the show. So much so that one of the gentleman from the door comes on the mic afterwards and announces that this will forever be our spot and we are always welcome. This did nothing for our ego, it did give us a blueprint for the future.

Larry Stewart's
The whole age thing continued but we would explain that our younger members would not drink or do anything to put the club's status in jeopardy. People never felt that until they say what type of draw we could be. So at this one spot as I recall the owner just wasn't feeling letting us all in. Don't forget that we roll really deep. So we feign compliance, work out our group rate but as we enter the spot we put the younger people in the middle of the group. They were trying to check us out but we moved around and even passed back I.D. cards to those who were too young so if they got caught they had something to show. Anyway once we get into the spot we just start shredding the mic. The last people that we had to go on were the younger cats who totally murdered the set. I used to wish I had been as nice as they were at that age. So afterwards we make it known to the host that these cats are part of our group and as talented as they are they need to be let in, in the future. He agreed.

Eventually to stop all of the front door beef we would approach them as two groups (the youngest cats were their own group before we came together). It would just be a double billing...Rites of Passage and Last Prophecy. The fact that we would always rip the shows and network so heavily meant that we ended up with a strong rep very quickly. This cut down on the nonsense but I miss those days of young rebellion and defiance. Unlike we went clubbing and had to leave anyone underage behind, the open mic/hip-hop scene got rawed out by us. Our whole mentality was, "Yo, you NEED us in there ripping it."


I really miss...that!?!?!?

It's amazing when I look back at what I miss...Ohla ohla...

If you have bust your ass trying to jump over your leg raise your hand. If you have broken down in a party and started doing the dance from House Party, raise your hand. If at one time you had a high top fade and wished it was as tall as Kid's raise your hand. I had to keep my hand up for all of these. In the spectrum of Hip-Hop Kid 'N Play may not be the greatest Emcees of all time, but they represent something important to me. They are part of that time where the guy who could danced wasn't considered a punk. The time when everyone tried to dance at least a little. It wasn't all good as dudes still had beef with each other and fights broke out, but people were more concerned with having fun than looking tough - in general. I think about all of this because I caught one of their flicks the other day. Despite the movies they had we all know that the first "House Party" is the one. I realize that these two helped to launch alot of peoples careers or at least bring them into the spotlight (Robin Harris, the entire cast of Martin, etc.). I remember remarking to someone a few years back that Method and Redman were the first cats in years who had bothered to just be funny in their songs and videos. The difference is they had already established street cred first. I went on to say that I don't think that anyone could achieve fame if they came out with a Kid 'N Play type of act today. What trips me out even more is that alot of "hardcore" cats KNOW that they watched and liked House Party and tried those dances. Not only that they were in clubs doing the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man and whole other slew of dances. I may be a glutton for punishment looking back at this time as people are so "hard" now...for instance I remember being in a club and this cat is standing in the middle of the dance floor. I'm looking at him, cause hell we're all dancing, when my man steps on his shoe or something. Dude gets pissed and I notice another friend of mine observing the situation. Dude is mad (which was stupid cause standing in the middle of the dance floor is no way to protect your kicks) and my friends are mugging him down and still dancing. After about 10 seconds they actually get into the same rhythm, heads moving together while staring this dude down. I thought that's what I'm saying keep on dancing. It made me want to start chanting the roof is on fire! That's the time I loved, when people knew that they would have to go work or school or something so they just wanted to enjoy that time at a party as much as possible. Yes, people were trying to get some ass and yes there were fights. However, now it's more of the latter two. "I'm going to look hard and talk shit." I remember when people knew they weren't hard, but they could dance...so they did. I will forever call this the Kid 'N Play era. Kid 'N Play never filled my need for depth or intricate thought. They did help to round things out. I wouldn't have as much of a problem with alot of things that I hear if I didn't hear it all the time from everyone. I loved when some cat's always talked about partying, some cat's were dropping knowledge and some were hardcore. Since I miss these varied elements, Kid 'N Play have come to help represent that lighthearted party aspect of things. I miss Kid 'N Play....ain't that something.


The Best Ever

Everytime I play this joint I feel like I'm doing something really life affirming...

In this time of bling when I am most critical of the artform that meant the most to me I find it important to look back on what I really loved. I find it hard to imagine that one of the most socially/politically relevant songs was released in 1984. I figure most people remember "The Message" which also bears that distinction, but I'm talking about the song from "Beat Street". Or moreso the last verse from that song. I always said that the when I listen to "The Message" I can walk outside and see all of those things still happening. It's the same with the song the only difference being I see this on the street and on B.B.C. Everytime I listen to this song I find it hard to believe that we as a generation could be so caught up in nonsense...most of us were alive when this song was out. The number of cats with a record deal who had yet to be born is miniscule. Everytime I hear this it reminds me why I write and why I don't want to give up on Hip-Hop. Not to mention the movie that it was featured in gave what I feel is the most tangible sense of the "vibe" that Hip-Hop culture first had. The vibe that it's often missing today. In addtion I also think that Melle Mel is continually overlooked on those lists of greatest Emcees of all time and if he's on the list he needs to be higher. So enjoy and tell me what you think.

A newspaper burns in the sand, and the headlines say ‘Man destroys Man!’
Extra! Extra! Read all the bad news on the war for peace that everybody would lose
The rise and fall, the last great empire, the sound of the whole world caught on fire
The ruthless struggle, the desperate gamble
The game that left the whole world in shambles
The cheats, the lies, the alibis
And the foolish attempt to conquer the skies
Lost in space, and what is it worth, huh?
The president just forgot about Earth
Spending multi billions, and maybe even trillions
The cost of weapons ran into zillions
There’s gold in the street, and diamonds under feet
And the children in Africa don’t even eat
Flies on their faces, they’re living like mice
And the houses even make the ghetto look nice, Huh!
The water tastes funny, it’s forever too sunny
And they work all month and don’t make no money
A fight for power, a nuclear shower
And people shout out in the darkest hour
Of sights unseen and voices unheard
And finally the bomb gets the last word
Christians killed Muslims, and Germans killed Jews
And everybody’s bodies are used and abused, Huh!
Minds are poisoned and souls are polluted
Superiority complex is deep rooted
Leeches and lice’s, and people got prices
Egomaniacs control the self-righteous
Nothing is sacred and nothing is pure
So the revelation of death is our cure
Hitler and Caesar, Custer and Reagan
Napoleon, Castro, Mussolini and Begin
Ghengis Khan and the Shah of Iran
Man spill the blood of the weaker man
The peoples in terror, the leaders made the error
And now they can’t even look in the mirror
‘Cause we gotta suffer while things get rougher
And that’s the reason why we got to get tougher
To learn from the past and work for the future
And don’t be a slave to no computer
‘Cause the Children of Man inherits the land
And the future of the world is in your hands
So just throw your hands in the air
And wave ‘em like you just don’t care
And if you believe that you’re the future
Scream it out and say ‘Oh yeah!’ (‘Oh yeah!’)
‘Oh yeah!’ (‘Oh yeah!’)

Melle Mel - "Beat Street"


It Broke out....

I missed my friends......plus there was salmon on the grill!

It started out simply enough. Friday I called up the wingman to see if he wanted to take in a flick. So we head on up to White Marsh (which is out of character) to see Batman Begins (I know it's been out...I'm always like this with movies). We walk into the theatre and it looks like they are giving away free cars or something. I may not have mentioned that I hate going to a crowded movie theater...so this looked like hell for me. However, I forgot that no one wanted to see Batman, everyone was there for Fantastic 4. So there was only about 20 people in my particular theater. What I hated was at the end when people started clapping. As a rule I only clap if the director and the actors are in the movie with me. Afterwards we come outside to a scene that looks like a car show. I tell my man let's wait til it dies down to leave. Twenty (20) minutes at least...his youngest sister hops out of a car to speak to us and we go through a whole convo about how when we were 15 none of our friends had cars. We were going downtown to the movies cause we had to catch the bus. Sucked. Anyway amdist our conversation I remarked that we needed to have a big (private) event somewhere. He went into the rented beachhouse and the Excursion (likes big trucks) plus some other details. I quietly remarked I was missing my friends. Skip to the next day...Our man Trey's father was having a cookout on the field behind his house. I had been invited before, but I don't remember ever making it...MISTAKE! This thing was huge. I always joke that his father is the man and dude can back it up. He had MAD, I repeat, MAAAAAAAAD people out there. I'm expecting to see Trey, his brother Kwofi and my man Ogun, but there were so many cats I hadn't seen in forever. Several conversations started with..."I haven't seen you in years". There was so much food out there and my favorite of all...Salmon on the grill. Many of you may not know my history, but I am a strong proponent of grilling Salmon. It begs for it, give salmon a chance, thank you. Anway cat's got into battles, drank guiness, cracked old jokes and talk about plans for now and the future. I had another reminder of my age in the fact that everyone's little brother has full beards now. It was a hell of a good day. I saw roughly 7 people I hadn't seen in two years or more. I really needed that. I looked around and realized how old we were and how we were changing. There were certain things that would have had to happen had this been 4 and 5 years ago. It was a good crowd. A long beautiful day (grilled salmon), lots of wonderful people (grilled salmon), good friends (grilled salmon) and the food was pretty good too. I realize how much time really changes things, I used to spend at least 5 days out of a week with these cats now I hardly see them and when I do it's usually one or two. I'm going to marinate in my good feelings for the rest of the day and tomorrow I'll be back with something of substance.


Along the Way

"Something in your eyes was so inviting, Something in you smile was so exciting..."
Frank Sinatra, Strangers in the Night

I can only think of the phrase that is the title of the above painting..."Two ships passing in the night".

So yesterday I hit the local Safeway to get some before-I-make-market-goodies (it's really not local since I cross into Pikesville to shop cause of the better selection and price difference-damn you city supermarkets!). Anyway I'm picking up things and plotting for my post-payday return. So I stop by the Odwalla's and out of the produce section comes this sista who looks familiar. She's on a cell phone chatting away, but when she noticed me the look on her face must have been just like mine. Then as we gave the hesitant hello I realized why she was familiar. I had sex with her...well almost. I almost burst out laughing when I remembered the whole story. I can't even remember her name but ces't la vie.

So I'm chilling in Azebs (which became 5 Season, which then moved). I'm living it up cause I had a good rep with the bartender. It's a slower night and the only person there that I might roll with is my wingman's sister. I'm kicking it and these two cuties sit at the bar and I get into a conversation with one of them. Dialog is nice (plus I'm drunk), I get her number and they leave. My man's sister (also my ex) sits down next to me and we start cracking jokes on random people in the room - she was always one of my favorite people. Then she asks, "Where do you know them dykes from". Exsqueeze me, baking powder? She reinerated...those two girls were gay. I thinkg back through my glassy-eyed memory and I can see it. So this sista gives me a call and we kick it some. It becomes clear this will be a sexual situation. She's older than me and I've always liked that. She lived downtown, which meant easy access as I was not driving at the time. So we work out a day and time for me to come over. Before I get into it this was a weird experience and I can't believe I forgot about it...it reminds me that I need to keep better track of my "encounters".

The Event

So I go over to her apartment. I think I had gone to this poetry spot beforehand which used to be in a black owned restaurant. The spot closed and we met down at a Gazebo by the Harbor and the joint picked up steam. So I'm coming from this spot which means I was live for a few hours and amongst my people. We are kicking it and drinking wine or something...when I woke up. I mean to say we were chilling in the living room drinking and talking and I feel asleep. I can't say I was really bored, but back then I had more regular interaction with the ladies so I would be alot more cavalier about those situaitons plus I was drunk and had been out and about for a while that day and in the evening. So I wake up and find out (partially from feeling and partially from her verbal admission) that she had been playing with my fuck stick! I didn't know whether to feel cocky or used...I ended up with a subtle mix of the two. So I'm ready to roll out (told you I was cavalier) when she indicates a yearnin'. I decide to oblige her and we go at it. About this time the whole lesbian thing really comes to the forefront. We are getting into it and she isn't quite...verbally she indicated that she wanted to, but her body is not responding. Deserts have more moisture than her crotch did. Then the lesbian thing REALLY comes to the forefront or rather her lack of interaction with men did. I couldn't fit. I tried, but she was just to tight and the dryness was not aiding in the situation at all. To quote Mr. Orange from Reservoir Dogs, "I'm fucking dying here!" We work out that this thing is just not going to go down and I...roll over and pass right the hell out again. I wake up in the morning and roll my ass out. We did talk on the phone after that, but the funny thing is this...before "The Event" I saw her out at an event talking to a guy I know. The next week he's talking about how you know someone and have been involved with them only to see them later and find out they're now gay, He just couldn't see it. I can confirm that one money. It started to sink in that I was this lesbians fooray back into the world of heterosexual sex gone wrong. It struck me as so odd to have had such an interaction with someone and then run across them and have forgotten the whole thing. I came home from the market and made a list of all my sexual encounters, sustained or otherwise. The worse thing was I had to think back and recall to make sure the list was complete. It kind of sucks to make a list like that and have more than one, "Oh Yeah!" moment. Damn the forgetful vigorous young man I was.


Lost Arts

Is your name Yemaya? Oh hell nah, it's got to be Oshun...

Before I begin this semi-rant/request/plead, I will say that most men will not deserve this. Most men will not know what to do with it and think women are stuck up. Forget them, focus in on the deserving ones...besides the rest will learn to love it.

What's my beef. What could I possibly be going on about (again). It's the ladies, not all of them but a large number of them. Not the ladies themselves but the presentation. I remember watching movies and actresses would have these lines and give these looks that make a man say, "God Damned, that's a woman." They wouldn't show a lot of cleavage or skin in general but their mannerisms made you want to get that woman. They made you want to make them succumb to you, it seemed like a challenge to win their interest. Not even wealth and power alone could win their fancy. Now I realize that these were movies, but I have seen some examples of this in life and I would like to request that the women who still carry themselves as such please pass on your skills to those in your vicinity. As of late when a woman has had interest in me the presentation has kind of been like, "I'm a woman in this mug, come holla."

Case in point: I'm chilling out at a First Thursday event...wonderful music, I get to initiate dancing and women are all around. I'm talking with two of my peoples and I notice this sista checking the scene. I notify my comrades that someone is getting looks. They check out the situation and clarify that it's me. So I'm checking the horizon and the sista approaches. She knows one of the guys I'm with and starts whispering in his ear. He starts giving me eyes like, "Yo you need to rap to her." I instantly lose all interest. Tell your man to holla at me. Tell your man to holla at me. For real she could have turned to me and asked if I thought the sky would be green tomorrow and a conversation would have sparked. "Tell your man to holla at me" just took me back in time to the school cafeteria and it left my interest there. She was making more progress throwing glances. That sense of potential interest was much more alluring than, "Tell your man to holla at me." I've had this happen several times in the last few years, "Tell your man to holla at me." Hell nah, that's about as subtle as hitting me in the face with a hammer. You might as well jump up on the table lift your skirt and shout,"Come and get it." Perhaps I'm blowing it out of proportion, but I appreciate those subtle things. In regards to male/female relations that's the type of game I like to play...it allows me to have to be creative in my approach. Is she checking me out, if not can I still say something that will make her fight to not break out into a smile that expose all 32 pearls? Yet another instance. I'm doing home visits for work and since it's in the area (and gas is ridiculous) I decide to walk. I'm rolling with the black suit, white shirt, black and sliver cuff links and bright red tie, check it. I'm doing it. As I walk down the street I peep the eyes in cars as they pass by and then I hear this lady yell, "Damn baby you sexy wus yo name?!?! Ruined my day. That was not (here comes the snob) sexy. My name is unimportant, it's where I'm going - the hell away from you. I mean that shyt ain't cool when dudes do it. It's ten times less so when a woman does it. These may seem tame, that's because I can't even bring myself to type how the younger sistas come off at me...scary.

You know what I liked, that drop the hanky thing. A lady sees a gent of interest and drops her hanky, which provides him a chance to be gentlemanly and return it also opening an for conversation. Let's play around a little bit. Sometimes I feel like many women have lost all sense of seduction and allure. What happened to the enchanting eyes and suggestive looks. Now I keep getting ass in a styrofoam container. I want the mystique back. Advance and withdraw or something. Make me be more clever than asking what your name is. I think more women should spend time reading about Oshun with Dorothy Dandridge movies and Sade playing in the backround. Imagine if young girls went from Lil' Kim to Carmen (without the whole destroying a man's life thing). I just want some mystery again. I consider it the difference between daisy dukes and a sundress. Daisy Dukes leave absolutley nothing to the imagination, a sundress only clings to the form briefly. Leave something to my imagination...give me something to chase. So if you ladies that have it will work with the rest and create a manual or a DVD for the younger ones then I'll work on the menfolk, deal?


M.C. Mortgage Payment

"....when we perform it's Coffee shop Chicks and White dudes."

This is the lament of a closing-in-on-30-Emcee who can't listen to most of whats out. What's a man to do? Consider further the fact that I still like to perform and am in the process of recording. Add to the equation that from knowledge of the industry and talks with fellow C.I.O.T.E.s who have been meeting with companies...I more than likely will never get a deal. I don't kill anyone in my songs. I don't talk about rims, booze...basically any of the things that I hear in the mainstream. The best crowd for me to rock is at Poetry Events...sad huh(isn't that a Paradox? Rock/Poetry event)? That's where people tend to listen the most to what you actually say instead of using you as a reference for shopping lists. The last few times I went to a "Hip-Hop" event I didn't feel most of what was being presented. I respect someones lyrical prowess, but I'm beyond "o.k. he can battle". Especially cause even in most battles people aren't as lyrical, it's just an extension of thug raps. Even though you can express how you can empty the clip and lift me up like elevators, I need a little more. Another factor in my circumstance is that I have been referred to as "Thesaurus Boy". I like words and being that rhyming has to do with lyrics, I use a wide variety of words and references. I have actually had people come to me months down the line and give me props for a line cause they just got it. When people are backing me up I know where I need to speak up cause no one is sure how to pronounce that word. I thought everyone knew what a masochist was. I will admit that nine times out of ten I will avoid the simple word that may suffice, but often the big word sums up more. I mean...I have a verse on a song about breastfeeding...I am not a normal emcee. I've come to realize that most of my "audience" is blogging, or changing the baby, or at home watching Seinfeld reruns and the Daily Show. Alot of them probably buy more rock and jazz at the moment than Hip-Hop. What's worse most of my "audience" are other artisits and I know from experience it's a bad place when the only people you can count on to check you out are performing later that night. I know most people who would appreciate my art are planning on building something...just as I must. I can't fit right into this music scene...I have to build/pull together the scene around me. I know I have to represent anywhere, but I want to surround myself with similar people. It sucks to hear myself on stage and feel like I'm the old man in the room. Everyone is talking about scooping up shorties and I'm thinking, "I can't even associate with half of these women in here, they ain't wife material." I always hear Chris Rock, "where you meet mommy? - Oh, She was in a club singing about balls." I don't mind being the one if I have to, but I always think if they loved the guy before me what are they thinking when they listen to me? Are they acknowledging me? Are the just saying, "He one of them conscious niggas." and blocking me out? I hate those catagories...it means that people aren't realting what someone says to their life. I'm over here and they're over there and never the twain shall meet. When I hear the thug-thizzle I know it means I've got more to do. That's another issue I always wonder if I was to be classified what would they call me...I remember coming up on some Digable Planets in an alternative section and I could almost see myself right next to them. I know that many of the most famous artists died poor and that prophets are hated in their own country, but Hip-Hop used to be relevant. I know there were party tracks, but there were plenty of songs that I learned something from. It's hard to swallow that I'll say a whole bunch of real life things and my people won't relate. I want to hear about my favorite emcee getting married or having a child...tell me about how you bought a pick-up so you could haul stuff for the yard or something. I'm tired of hearing people older than me talk about doing things that people younger than me will die trying to keep up with. I need to hear about life...and it would be nice if the crowd was more than coffee shop chicks and white dudes.



For the Record...

I'm just checking blogs and surfing in general and I have to ask...Why do people hate Tom Cruise right now? I peeped the couching jumping episode and I know he opened himself up to some criticisim and...just plain getting joked (c'mon Maverick that was some silly shit and if you had boys they probably joking you too). However, alot of people really don't like his opinion of psychiatry and that would make me wonder...but then I realize we are a country that loves our pills. We love the thought of popping something down and having it take care of our problems. I'm sorry but fuck them pills. I know people are depressed but I'm sure 75%(at least) need a kick in the ass as oppossed to a pill. I'm depressed...it happens a lot and it makes me get up and do something. Now I understand some people are beyond a pep talk (I'm related to one) but we have commercials on T.V. about anti-depressants. That shyt ain't right. People who are REALLY depressed and need medication are the ones who won't see that commercial and say, "Hmmm, maybe I should ask my doctor about that." The people who do this are soccer moms and "progressive thinking" metrosexuals and what not. I know I'm biased as I won't even take Aspirin, but the rule is this...If I go to someone and say hey I may want to try this drug...he's a drug dealer. Medicine Men and Voo Doo priests don't take suggestions so doctors shouldn't either. Doctors should say (Did I mention I don't like doctors either?): This is what the problem is this is what we can do, here's your pill. Doctors shouldn't be pulling up menus, "The blue pills are nice, but the red ones go with your outfit." Don't make me start on the side effects of these joints. Another rule. If there are more side effects to a medicine than symptoms of the condition - you don't need it. If I have gas I don't want something that will get rid of it but cause sexual side effects, uncontrollable bowel movements and make my dog go blind. I'm just saying, I'm just saying...


Tom Cruise, C'mon son tone it down a little bit. That girl younger than me you can't be all pumped and shyt. Chill out, roll with your little hottie and be cool.


That jumping on the couch shyt with Oprah...men should intervene on behalf of you and the dude that wants to marry the runaway bride. Cut it out, both of you. Leave that type of stuff for Dr. Phil (who even though I don't like him thinks you should cut shorty loose...at least he said he would have problems with her). Doing stuff like that on Oprah is like bursting into tears in front of your girlfriends father and her 10 brothers...you can't come out of that looking good. Well...I did find this, it's about the best thing to come out of you being on Oprah.


At this Juncture....

What you say!.....Young punk.

Though I am not actually old, yet, I feel as though it's good to look back and take account of what I've learned so far.

1) 85% of the population is stupid. Everyone has good moments but most people lose it when emotion gets involved. Always keep it together even though it means people will be pissed at you and may not listen at least you can step away intact. (The Ellen Ripley Rule...the only people that liked her died.)

2) Cops suck. It's the sad truth. I am partially biased, being a young black man, but for the rest of the population they still suck. They ruin parties, they make it so people can get to you without confronting you...in anyway. Despite the fact that they have authority and can ruin your day, week, year, etc. a lot of the time they're assholes when they don't need to be. If you disagree look around the room/car when cops become involved...the tone changes pretty quick. (The Sumumabitch Rule)

3)Women and Fights are very similar. You have to recognize when to get involved and when to walk away. If you get involved go for yours until you get knocked out. If you think you'll lose make sure you can walk away with your head up. Don't think about the end result...think about the moment, worrying about the out come is the fastest way to produce a bad one. (The Bruce Lee Rule)

4)Be able to get cash. Not everyone will be rich in this society, but you'll make out if you have at least three means of earning cash. If you can cover expenses with one, fun with another and stack off the third that's the best. (The Knife in the Boot Rule)

5) Put it out there. Benchriders only get splinters. It's easier to live with with a failure, but it's hard to live with knowing you never tried anything. To quote myself, "I'd rather piss in the wind than turn the other cheek, you get hit either way but at least it's reciprocity." ( The Til the Wheels Fall Off Rule)

6) Knowing helps. I fashion myself as the diety of obscure facts and references, but I can't say how many times that knowledge has come in handy for me. It's great to master one thing, but life is more than one thing. Subsequently dont fall victim to the phrase "Jack of all Trades master of none." (The Ken Jennings Rule)

7) Alot of people + booze + sexual tension = Drama. I seen it so many times. You can usually feel it when you walk into a place. THE CROWD CANNOT BE TRUSTED WHEN DRUNK. Especially when dudes are showing off for the ladies. It's even worse when a) the ladies like drama b) dudes can't recognize the situation. Don't say I didn't warn you. ( The Crenshaw Rule...Ricky was just chilling with his bag of chips, he didn't want no beef.)

7a) Don't drink liquor that costs less than beer. Trust me. (The Mad Dog Rule)

8) Nothing is trivial. This applies in all situations. Everything means something and even if you don't know the meaning be aware of things. Observe all situations and you can pull the best from them...or avoid the worst. Plus it's kick ass to remember things when everyone else forgets. Bonus points for remembering more than your boss. (The Bronx Tale Rule - "Everyone was smiling except for this one face...")

9)Sometimes you have to bump younger cats. Seems strange but it's true. I'll go walking through a mall or some such place with my work gear on and for some reason young dudes think a tie makes you a punk. I don't think there will ever come a time when I'm afraid of the group of young dudes walking towards me. A "pardon me" and an elbow/shoulder combination go well together. This goes intellectually as well. Sometimes you gotta kick them in the ass when they aren't thinking straight. (The Zimmer Rule - Pedro did the right thing, any old man that rushes you has to be treated seriously.)

10) Know who your friends are. This is simple but we forget it and are reminded when we need people. When trouble comes false friends vanish like roaches when you hit the light switch. The other part of this is that you can't leave the real friends hanging out there. Nothing is worse than the person you would go through hell for forgeting you. (The Watch Your Front Rule)



I often say I have a handful of friends...it's so I don't lose my hair from stress.

When I left Morgan and was performing with my group we could easily be hanging around with 20 people in someones house, apartment, etc. Some people performed, some produced, some just hung out. We used to do our thing all in the Charles Village area of Bmore. There was pretty much a balanced male/female ratio, so of course there was some sex involved. But some of the most fun things involved beef. Say all the ladies we know are going out to a spot...we wouldn't want to go. So the guys are sitting around chilling and in comes the phone call,"________ got into it with some dude and we need ya'll to come down here." I never could figure out why it would always be a beef with a bunch of dudes. When we went out we never had beef. No matter how deep we were, we never had beef. These ladies would get into something everytime they went out and we would be summoned for the assist. I hate things like this, there is nothing worse than having to fight when you weren't initally part of the beef...especially if you were 10 minutes before just chilling somewhere. As a matter of fact I no one has tried to beef with me personally since High School. Every beef I've been involved in since has centered around someone else. I know part of my problem has been that I get involved in stupid shyt. I often tell my clients it's usually that "extra word" that starts the beef. You know, people are going back and forth and no one can let it go so even after the main complaint is over they just keep saying something. Straw that broke the Camel's back. I can think of close to 7 times in a period of a year where we had to go get involved in something. Personally I have certain rules around beef. After choosing whether or not it's a worthwhile beef I challenge, "Here I am right now" type of deal. I don't do that next time I see you garbage. If we're gonna get into it's right now or we let it go. I don't respond well to threats either. If you say I'm going to the car or I'm going outside, I'd rather just tag you right there and get it on. I was never the person that started anything, but I do have issues with "bully" type situtions. I break. I don't like situations to drag out. I want to get it over with. That being said, I don't like to get into beef over another persons nonsense. Especially when that person begins to rely on you to get them out of the bad end of a situation. Furthering this problem I know one of these sistas would always get into with someone when she drank. Even if we were chilling amongst friends. This is one of those cats who should be forbidden to drink. Considering she is amongst this group always pissed me off to have to go get into a beef when I didn't know how it started. To make matters worse around this time alot of joints were getting shut down over shootings. So here we are chilling inside having some drinks and freestyling and we get a call to come down to such and such club cause cat's is beefing. Just the way to end your evening. Then I remember we actually got into a beef (which was squashed without a punch being thrown) and the same "horrible drunk" said that their problems were a result of....get this..."Our bad karma coming back on them." To this day me and my man laugh over that. "Karma doesn't work like that sweetie." As a matter of fact me and this same cat have left a record 6 places right before story worthy beefs broke out. I mean chairs being thrown movie type beefs. Now here we were having to get in shyt regularly because of others. As gallant as I may be...when I have the feeling a sista may be to blame for the beef, a brother gets hesitant to be involved. Later my man almost got into a beef because (unbeknownst to us) some of these sistas were stripping at a local club. It bothered him (he is now a Sangoma Priest) more than a bit to have some dude approach him about "getting their girls together"...I recognize them and I see how you do he said. He's all ready to defend them and get out on this dude...only to find out we didn't know what was up. So that story finally broke amongst the crew. Around this time I began to realize that I was associating myself with alot of people I didn't really know at all. I don't randomly judge or point fingers, but too much beef was going down around these situations. At this point people started to drift apart...it was that time. College, work and other things were consuming our time. We began to break down into our seperate groups and do our thing. I have since not associated so closely with such a large group of people. I don't have those types of stories to tell anymore either. We did have alot of good times go down, traveling and performing, but we had just as much drama associated with it. I can't say I really regret it, but I don't think I'll roll quite that deep again.